” Beetle: Jeb go get yo gun… dat Borat Osama dun went and put dat dangerous black in the “high place”!! Jeb: Whatcha jabbering bout now Beatle.. Beetle: He done went and done it…. he done put dat Eric Holda, above all law abiding and god fearing white mens and white womans… now hush up yo mouf and go git Sophie… make sure she got plenty to eat…. we’s on our way to Washindon Dee Cee!!”
On January 20, 2009, President- elect Barack Obama, elected Eric Holder to be his nomination for the post of Attorney General Of The United States. Although he sailed through the Senate Judiciary Committee by a vote of 17-2, his full Senate confirmation was a straight up “over my dead body,” affair. Now I’m going to tell you something about politics that you may have already heard… “politicians like diapers, need to be changed often and for the same reason. – Mark Twain. On February 2, 2009, by a vote of 75 to 21 he became the nation’s first African-American Attorney General. So why does the diaper need to be be changed? Well… not a single Republican senator voted against him!! My, how things have changed… in 1988 the Gipper, Ronald Reagan appointed Holder to a seat on the Superior Court of the District of Columbia. During the obstructionist policies of Comrade Mitch, the 2015-2016 114th Congress left over 88 district and 17 court of appeals vacancies, not to mention Merrick Garland’s Supreme Court nomination, which it just refused to hear. Oh Comrade Mitch…. you have been really busy. We still trying to figure out how a congressman making $193,000 a year is worth $25 million? I did the math.. it would take almost 130 years to save up $25 million and that’s if you never spent a penny of it…. will somebody change that man’s Pampers?
Jeb: Dagnabbit Beetle, I told you to turn at that exit right dar!! Beetle: Das cause you won’t paying no mind… Dat sign sayin Blacksburg.. it be a town full of em!! Jeb: I figuring we could still go on a count of dar be a White Castle… Beetle: I ain’t takin no chances… dis here map sayin dar be a Cracker Barrel bout a hunnert miles away in White Flint. Jeb: You always had a good head on dem shoulders Beetle.. I wish I hadda stayed in skool.. coulda had a second grade edumakashon like you…
Eric Holder is a Columbia Law School graduate, which is a bastion for progressive liberal and social thinking. People like Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Paul Roberson, James Meredith and Marie Henein are some of it alumni. Although Henein is not a household name, she is the female version of Johnny (If it does not fit.. then you must acquit!!) Cochran, the lead attorney who represented O.J Simpson. It was during Black History Month on February 18, 2009, that Eric Holder gave his famous “A Nation Of Cowards” speech. It immediately prompted attacks by conservatives all over the country. Them folks was so mad, I heard they had gotten more than 100,000 signatures demanding that Uncle Ben’s likeness be replace with Uncle Sanders and that Aunt Jemima carry a rebel flag… they was hot!!! Anywho, the main crust of their argument centered around the fact that the country had just elected its first black President and the Senate had just voted in favor of its first black Attorney General. America had fulfilled Martin’s dream.The hypocrisy was riper than last weeks banana pudding. The same pundits and conservatives who attacked Holder and held up Obama as America finally getting to the mountain top, would no more vote for a black candidate then they would vote for Farrakhan to take over the Klu Klux Klan. Although America had voted for its first black president and the racial divide did not get wider… it got deeper as the Tea Party poured in its policy of white nationalism and non inclusivity, culminating in the chaos we are witnessing today.
Jeb: I don’t care if the White Castle was closed.. we should have neva went to dat Popeyes!! Beetle: Now simmer down… at least we got da car back. Jeb: No thanks to you.. I ain’t neva been so fussed. If I hadn’t got stuck in dat bafroom window, you wouldn’t neva made it to the car. They pull me back in and this big one said …knuck if you buck.. I went to pull dem splinters I got from da window out my crotch… Beetle: Well, we got plenty of bandages… luckily we bought Ma’s grape jelly and dey was willin to swap it for you… Jeb: I guess so… but I’m shure hankering for some more britches… that big fella chucked dem on the lamp post…
“Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial, we have always been, and we, I believe, continue to be, in too many ways, a nation of cowards. – Eric Holder Holder tenure lasted through the Trayvon Martin, Eric Garner, Michael Brown and Tamir Rice killings. He even visited Ferguson after the senseless police shooting of Michael, something unheard of by a sitting Attorney General. Holder told the anxious and distraught crowd at Florissant Valley Community College, “I understand that mistrust.. I am the Attorney General of the United States, but I am a Black man too. I think about my time in Georgetown, a nice neighborhood of Washington and I am running to a picture movie at about 8:00 at night. I am running with my cousin. Police car comes driving up, flashes his lights, yells, ” where you going?” Hold it I say.. Whoa, I am going to a movie.” But as much empathy as Holder showed that day, it contrasted vastly with the Justice Department and the St. Louis County Grand Jury’s future actions. Darren Wilson, the officer who shot Brown was acquitted by the grand jury which consisted of nine whites and three blacks. The jury’s racial make-up roughly approximated the the county’s demographics of 70% white and 30% black. The verdict had folks throwing chicken sandwiches out the window as far away as Somalia in East Africa.
Two blocks from the Justice Department in Washington DC.. police siren wail and lights flash… Jeb: Beetle whatcha think dey wont.. Beetle: Deys probably wont to escort us on account of dat letter I writ tellin um we’s on our way.. Police on microphone: “Driver slowly put your hands outside the drivers window…” Beetle: Dey probably wont to shake my hand.. Police: Passenger put you hands on the dashboard where we can see them. Jeb: How come dat fella got dat gun pointed at us? Beetle: Now hold yo britches… Jeb: I ain’t got none.. that black fellow… Police: Driver, slowly open the door with your right hand. Beetle opens the door and gets out. He is immediately tasered. Jeb grabs the Confederate flags, jumps out and starts waving it. He is tasered also and falls to the ground…
On August 11, 2014, Holder’s Justice Department opened a civil rights investigation. The FBI sent teams of agents to Ferguson looking for people who may have witnesses the shooting. Seven months later their investigation concluded on March 2015. Their findings were devastating. “The investigation concluded there was no evidence upon which prosecutors could rely to disprove Wilson’s asserted belief that he feared for his safety, that witnesses who contradicted Wilson were not credible, that forensic evidence and credible witnesses corroborated Wilson’s account, and that the facts did not support the filing of criminal charges against Wilson. Credible witnesses did not support accounts that Brown had his hands up in surrender. He was not shot in the back. Forensic evidence showed he was moving toward Wilson. Numerous witnesses were found to have given accounts of actions they were unable to see from their vantage points, or to be recounting others’ accounts.”- Department Of Justice
A Few Weeks Later… Jeb: Dey sho different from back in home in Notcolord Mississippi…Dey charged you wit resising arrest after you opened the door with yo write hand… Dats da hand you write wit..ain’t it Beetle? Beetle: Shut yo trap!! Jeb: Beetle wats treeson? Beetle: I told ya to shut yo trap!! Jangle: You want dat conebread?
As for Wilson the officer that killed Brown, well last reports indicate he still resides in the St. Louis area and is living a quiet life in the suburbs. Supporters raised nearly half a million dollars on behalf of Wilson, allowing him to move, buy a new house, and pay their legal expenses. Lezley McSpadden, Michael Brown’s mother also still resides in Ferguson. In 2018 she ran for a seat on the city council.. but lost. On the fifth year anniversary of Brown’s killing in 2019 Lezley said… ” I gave a lot of thought to how I wanted to acknowledge the anniversary of the day a police officer killed my son, Michael Brown. To say it isn’t easy when this time of year rolls around would be an understatement. But I decided I would write this year because the continuing execution of black and brown young people by law enforcement has not stopped, or even slowed down, since I lost Mike-Mike… and because more of us must continue the drum beat toward criminal-justice reform.” She is currently the chief executive and founder of the Michael O.D. Brown Foundation and author of “Tell the Truth, Shame the Devil.”
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