Rill: It was going to be a long day. As he looked in the mirror he admired the Prime Plantation Homie with Golden Chicken and Cornbread Rope necklace. He lovingly brought it up to his nose and for a split second he thought he could smell the chicken grease on it. But it was no time for nostalgia, he had to make sure Trumpet got his… he meant… got his day in court. After all he was DOUS!! (Django Of The United States.)
Bailiff: Your honor, Prosecutor Uwantmo would like to have a word with you.
Rill: Thank you bailiff. Send her in. Rill rushed to his desk to put some deodorant on. It was warm in his chambers and those robes could make a folk smell like chitlins left in the backseat of a Ford on a hot day.
Prosecutor Uwantmo: Heyyy babyyyy…
Rill: Heyyy babyyyy… Although Rill was the DOUS, he still hadn’t gotten his first check. He noticed she had some Christmas packages with her. He needed to spend as less money as possible until the dough flowed… I was just thinking about you… You looking so good.. remember when we first met?
Prosecutor Uwantmo: Yeah baby, we met in that book store on Wisconsin Ave at the mall… Barnes and Hobo’s
Rill: Rill looked at Uwantmo for a second…. Anyway… yes siree…when I first saw you I wanted to know if fries went with that shake…
Prosecutor Uwantmo: Yeah babyyyy!!! And my old boyfriend told you no… fries don’t come with that… but bullets and a lot of holes came with his nine… you got to running and he started chasing you…. you jumped over the Dunkin Donut counter and pretended to be a cashier…
Rill: Rill interrupted her.. Nevermind about that part!! Anyway baby, I was thinking I wanted to give you something special.. something to remind you of that day we met.. I was thinking… Well what’s your favorite book?
Prosecutor Uwantmo: Uwantmo casually shook her head and her hair went from side to side… She put her hand on Rill’s hand and said softly, “My favorite book is.. “The Body Under The Christmas Tree.” by Dontcha Noit.
Rill: Rill looked at her, smiled and said… “Okay baby.. anything for you… Zales it is… “ The bailiff knocks on the door…
Bailiff: Sir it is time..
Rill: Okay.. Rill looks at Uwantmo and winks.. She exits the office..
Clerk: All rise for the honorable Rill Blak, Django Of The United States.
Rill: Be seated. Mr. Milyundolla are you and Mr. Chin ready to proceed?
Milyundolla: Sir, I’m afraid Mr. Chin has been deported.
Prosecutor Uwantmo: Your honor, I object!! They just can’t change the counselor. This is some kind of frackenackle b*llsh*t!!
Milyundolla: Your honor the defense thought the the prosecutor might have an objection and as proof we like to call Asonofa Mitch and his cousin, Datt Mofo to collaborate our story.
Rill: What!!… All of you come to the bench!!
Rill: Rill sizes up the two men and asks.. “So you are Asonofa Mitch and this is your cousin.. Datt Mofo?”
Prosecutor Uwantmo: Your honor, we object to the defense calling Asonofa Mitch and Datt Mofo without telling us beforehand. We believe Datt Mofo is related to Anutta Azhol who works for Trumpet.
Rill: Rill knows if he doesn’t let these witnesses in, it could grounds for an appeal. Imblaker Denu always thought he wanted the HNIC job.. He had to be careful.. “Okay we will adjourn the court and discuss this in my chambers.”
Rill: Rill looks over at the juror’s and starts to speak.. “The jury… “
Mrs Blak: The forewoman stands up and starts screaming.. “Guilty, Guilty, Guilty, …. on all counts!! Throw the #@@!! book at him!!!
Rill: Not yet mama… I was about to say…. the jury is excused until tomorrow morning at 9am. Court adjourned.
Back in Rill’s chambers….
Milyundolla: Your honor, if these witnesses are not allowed to speak, we are prepared to appeal this case all the way up to the Supremacist Court!!
Prosecutor Uwantmo: Your honor, there is precedent.. I cite Tat Nectar v. Donald Trumpet, wherein the court decided Tat Nectar couldn’t change his counselor although his lawyer was a member of the Anti- Nectars League, dressed in a white sheet and carried a rope.
Milyundolla: Your honor there were mitigating circumstances in that case. I cite Whyatt Boyy v. D. Kneegrow, wherein even though Whyatt Boyy won the case, he wanted to be retried with another lawyer because D. Kneegrow was passing..
Rill: Thank you counselors.. There are two fundamental questions here. 1. Is Datt Mofo related to Asonofa Mitch? and 2. If Datt Mofo is related to Anutta Azhol, is it prejudicial to this trial?
Prosecutor Uwantmo: Your honor, the prosecution is prepared to bring two rebuttal witnesses, Diss Mofo and Asonofa Agunn. Diss Mofo is prepared to testify that Datt Mofo in not related to Asonofa Mitch, but is in fact the brother of Dem Mofos. Datt Mofo changed his name after marrying Asonofa Agunn’s maid, who is Annutta Azhol’s sister!!
Milyundolla: I object your honor. The court shouldn’t recognize Diss Mofo and Asonofa Agunn… I will..
Rill: Rill waves his hand for the counselors to be quiet. I will let the Prosecutor Uwantmo present her rebuttal witnesses. You have 24 hrs to present Diss Mofo and A’sonof Agunn in my chambers… thank you.
Rill took off his robe, sat down and leaned back in the chair. He picked up the phone and dialed the exclusive K’ F’ Et Cee Le Poulet to make reservation for him and Iffa. He had to hurry.. he had just enough time to make it to the bookstore…