The Dastard

Hi readers,
I have been working on a story that’s going to tie into this one, so I thought I would repost it so it will be easier to follow along. Yep… dastard is a funny name for an article, but I promised Ma, I would watch my mouth… (wink! wink!) She always said if you don’t have nothing nice to say, then don’t say nothing… hence the name the Dastard. See ma, I was listening. Anyway, please enjoy this repost while we finish up another new and exciting story from black history.
G.

So what is a Dastard? Well there are all types of dastards… you got your plain old fashion dastard… and then you got your gawd darn dastard and of course there’s the ever popular maha fricken dastard. But all dastards got one thing in common… and that is… “they are all dastardly.”
Yep.. that’s what one foot on the sidewalk and the other foot in the gutter looks like…

Anywho, I got a dastard I like to talk about named Jefferson Finis Davis. So I included his middle name although he rarely used it, to denote that there were two dastards with that name in political history. Jefferson F. Davis is the subject of this article while Jefferson Davis will receive an un-honorable mention. The latter Davis, which we will call Jeff from here on out, was the governor of Arkansas from 1901-1907. So when you think of Jeff, think of Donald.. Donald Trump… cause they both got ropes hanging from their family tree.

Just the Facts Black:

Both Jeff and Donald’s fathers were racist of the 10th Level with Hanging Rope and Burning Cross Insignia and they both had offices at 100 Yahoo Way, in Whitewyte, Mississippi on 69th and Black Avenue. Jeff’s father, Lewis Davis, was a confederate Civil War veteran and had served as a chaplain in the “lost cause.” The family moved around for a few years, but finally ended up in Dover, also known as “Boy Didn’t I Tell You”, Arkansas, where he opened a law firm. It was successful and he quickly became one of their leading citizens and was voted in as county and probate judge of Sevier County, and later Little River County. So this happened around 1867. Well in 1868 Reconstruction began and with it all southerners who had served in the military during the Civil War were temporarily banned from holding public office. Lewis Davis was out and Datsim De’African was in. So you know how racist act nowadays. Can you imagine what it was like just a couple of years pass the Civil War now that African Americans were holding elective offices…
Sheriff De’African: “I want you outta town before dark or else boy!!” If I see you and the moon out at the same time then… ”
(Deputy Afomaslave points at the tree in front of the court where newly elected Judge Gotalotta Juice is presiding… )
Lewis: (Mutters to himself..) Boy there was a time when… (Suddenly Lewis hears the “B” word..)
Sheriff De’African: Hold him!! Grab him by his legs!! ( They carry him inside where Judge Juice is doing her nails)
Judge Juice: What’s going on here Sheriff? Why is this man in my court?
Sheriff De’African: I told this man to be outta town before dark… and I heard a cuss word!!
Judge Juice: Well Sheriff it’s not dark yet..
Deputy Afomaslave: (The deputy walks over to the windows and pulls the shades down..)
Judge Juice: GUILTY!! (She reaches into her desk and tosses the sheriff a rope..)
Lewis: (Starts yelling!!) I didn’t do nuttin!! I didn’t do nuttin!!
Sheriff De’African: (Looks at Lewis with a big grin and says..) This gonna hurt like hell…
Lewis: Loses it and starts screaming… “Yahoo!! Yahoo!!”
Okay maybe that’s a little over the top… but anyway Lewis started to take things in his own hands by recruiting vigilante groups and racist organizations, like the Klu Klux Klan and the Knights of the White Camelia to terrorize and subdue the black population but mostly to prevent them from voting. So the difference between the KKK and KWC is that the Klan recruited from poor whites or whites from the lower class of the economic spectrum, while the KWC recruited from mostly well off citizens, like store owners, physicians, landowners, newspaper editors.. ect. It got so bad that governor Powell Clayton declared martial law in Little River to restore order. It became known as the Pope County Militia Wars. For more than six months the Lewis Davis and Powell Clayton militia’s clashed. Davis and his men would eventually reap the benefits after Reconstruction, as the men who stood up for white supremacy and against the heathen hordes of the Yankee lovin Powell Clayton and his “n” word!!” Lewis Davis had named his only son after Jefferson F. Davis, president of the CSA. The Pope County Militia Wars and the legacy of CSA president Jefferson F. Davis would inspired young Jeff for the rest of his life and he would go down in history as a real maha frickin dastard.

KlanMart

So as I said earlier, Donald Trump and Jeff Davis were brothers in the same forest. Their fathers could smell a black man a mile away and two miles away if he was darker than a Starbucks Creme Latte. In 1963 a thirty three year old black professional had come to rent a one-bedroom at the still-unfinished Wilshire Apartments in the Jamaica Estates neighborhood of Queens. Now in those days a black person living in Jamaica Estates in Queens was living high on the hog. High on the hog has always been a funny phrase to me because high on the hog is actually closer to the back of the pig where the ask me no questions is located. If you don’t know where the ask me no questions is located.. think Charmin.. Anyway, so yeah if you was a black and you was out there then… you was probably in the back of a police car. So the story goes that Maxine Brown a registered nurse had filled out the rental agreement and gave it to the property manager who then gave it to Fred Trump. He asked Trump what should he do? Fred told him to put it in the drawer and forget about it. Needless to say Ms Brown never got the apartment and subsequently Fred was sued by the Justice Department for racial discrimination. The suit was settled in 1973 after a counter suit by Fred Trump for $100 million dollars failed. So the gotcha moment came when testers from the  New York City Human Rights Division set up a sting. They sent a black prospective renter to try and rent from Trump and a white renter. When the black renter came and asked to see the apartment which had been advertised as being for rent, he was told “You don’t want to live here boy.. the last black who tried to rent here shot himself in the back with this gun in my waistband…” Okay he didn’t say that.. but he did say the apartment had already been rented out. When the white prospective renter asked to rent the same apartment, the manager showed him that apartment and two more. The black renter came back with the housing commissioner and confronted the manager who told them he was just doing as he was instructed… do not rent to black tenants. To make a long story short, Fred Trump agreed to a settlement which included him having to put out full page advertisements in the local newspapers welcoming black tenants..

New Yoke Times Advertisement

Trump Properties Welcomes Black Tenants.
Y’all can come over here… if y’all wanna..
We fully subscribe to the Fair Housing Laws
that says y’all can live next door to a gawd fearing
red blooded white man… and that you don’t
have to worry about coming in here at
night by yoself and walking down these
dark unlit hallways pass folks wearing white sheets.
In embracing the Fair Housing Laws
we have instructed our current tenants to make sure you feel
welcomed and safe at our properties.
We are committed in ensuring that any violence against our minority
renters will be thoroughly investigated by our really good friends
at the police station or by us.
So come on over here.. if y’all wanna.

Yep that’s messed up.. but that’s basically how it went down. You might come out and there would be a watermelon in front of your door. Now some of you may prescribe to the make lemonade out of lemons philosophy and take that watermelon in yo house and eat it… I wouldn’t do that if I was you… unless you got poison control on speed dial…. anywho… housing discrimination wasn’t Fred Trump’s only brush with racism. In 1927 a 21 year old Fred Trump was arrested at a Klan Memorial Day Rally in Queens, New York. So to be transparent, the charges were dropped. But in light of his future dealings with discrimination, it begs the question of what was he doing there? Was he an onlooker or was he a supporter? He was charged with refusing to disperse from a parade when ordered to do so. Why didn’t he leave? All of the other men arrested with him were charged with violations ranging from disorderly conduct to assaulting a uniformed officer. Why was he charged with just being down there? Did it have something to do with Frederick Trump Sr? His father was a wealthy businessman who came into his fortune as the owner of a restaurant and brothel during the Klondike Gold Rush in the Yukon, which was in Canada. So yeah, he got rich selling the miners $20 plates of beans and da nasty… After he left Canada, he came to Queens and started buying up property. That’s how the Trumps got their money. Anywho, did Fred Sr. aka “The Astoria Sweetback “pull some strings and that’s why we got this history.. an innocent Fred Jr. caught at a Klan Rally and mistakenly arrested? Well folks we will never know.. all we know is that subsequently Fred Jr. became… a dastard.

No He Didn’t

The first black to attend West Point was James Webster Smith in 1870. The first to graduate was Henry Ossian Flipper in 1877

Jefferson F. Davis was the President of the Confederates States Of America. He was born in Fairview, ( Cause I Said So Boy) Kentucky. Now his family immigrated from England and originally settled in (That Branch Ain’t High Enough, )Georgia, that being his great grandfather. The family subsequently moved to Kentucky in 1793 and founded a settlement called Davisburg which was later changed to Fairview. So why am I telling you this? Well something happened in recent history that pertains to the Davis family and their Georgia roots. We will get to that later, but for now let’s move on. Jefferson entered the history books on December 24, 1826. Do you think was it because of his stance on slavery or because of his oratory skills in defense of the southern way of life… or was it because he was a born leader and exhibited extraordinary skill and bravery on the battlefield while standing knee deep in the blood and guts of his fellow patriots telling the enemy that he will die first before they take one more step on the righteous and honorable soil of the sons of Dixie!!? Hell No!!! He was among the 70 participants in what is known as the Eggnog Riot… a drunken good old boy Christmas party in 1826 at the United States Military Academy in West Point. Yep the good old boys snuggled in some homemade hooch, got dem red eyes and started talking shat. They got loud and eventually a Captain came down to see what the problem was. When he got down there he saw a few of them were drunk sleep. He woke them up and told everybody the party was over and to go back to their rooms. This was at 4am, December 24th. So as they left the Captain began ucking with the cadet who bought the liquor to the party. He tore him a brand new shiney 1827 one and threw the old one in the trash. This made the cadet mad as hell, but he didn’t say anything. After the Captain left, the cadet let that demon liquor start talking to him… Liquor: “You ought to go and kick his azz.. Right Now!!” The cadet decided to gather up some of his boys and run up on the Captain to find out what he really knew!! So him and his boys went to the Captain’s room and the cadet banged on the door. “Com’on outta der!! “ However the Captain wasn’t there. He had gone to another room because of another disturbance. So to make a long story short, The captain was running around quelling party after party, running into drunk soldiers at every turn. He decided to to look for his second in command to help. Well his second in command, a lieutenant, had also been awakened by the loud partying and had also gone out to investigate. However not far from his room he was attacked by two other cadets. He managed to hold on to one of the cadets and placed him under arrest… but not for long. He broke away and ran into another room with some other cadets. As the lieutenant started for the room, he was momentarily distracted by a loud noise and that’s when it happened… one of the cadets the Captain had cussed out earlier… knocked the stars spangled banner outta him… Bam!! Down he went. So remember when I said Davis was a participant? Well Davis was in the room where the Captain initially started putting an end to the partying. After the aforementioned events took place Davis went back to his room and went to sleep. He was allegedly one of the cadets who was recruited to find the Captain and whip dat azz. The Captain saw Davis leave and followed him. Davis saw the Captain too and warned the cadets in his room. The Captain busted through the door and ordered one of the cadets to open his locker, which the cadet refused to do. Well history says he refused to do it and they leave it at that… but we know how folks get when dey been drinking… Cadet: “Why don’t you come ova heh and make me open this locker sucker!!” The “fearless” Captain then said “Okay, y’all men remain orderly!” and then he left. ( He called it right.. you got a roomful of young drunken soldiers with nothing left to lose and who you had just cussed out an hour ago and a few had even gone out looking for you… well yep.. you men stay orderly..” ) Before the night ended there would be a lot mo folks knocked out, including the Captain. After the incident was over the Governor and the Commanding Officer of the base decided to bring charges on those who participated in the drunken brawl. The Captain and the Lieutenant were put on the court martial board. Davis was charged as a malefactor. That just means a person who broke the law. Out of seventy cadets charged, twenty would be court martialed. Davis was not one of those men and he would graduate 23rd out of a class of 33.

Just Call Me Chitlin Juice

They didn’t take many pictures of blacks before 1865. This is a picture of the Baker Family in 1898. Mr Baker is not in the photo because he had been lynched for being a black Postmaster.

Jefferson Davis: “I’d change my name to Chitlin Juice and marry a slave named Juba Juba, if I could get my hands on him!!”
The confederate presidents tenure wasn’t one marked by a lot of success as the TV would have you believe. The losses at Antietam and Gettysburg were the nails in the coffin of slavery. With the fall of Vicksburg and the scorched earth tactics of Tecumseh Sherman, well old Jeff had his hands full. Now the Southerners would have you believe that Sherman was the man… he was the one they wanted found in front of the slave quarters with a watermelon shoved up his…. and hanging from a tree. It’s true they hated him… I’m surprised they got to Lincoln before they got to him. After all he was the one who said he was gonna make them howl.. and howl they did!! He burned a path right through the middle of Dixie, destroying and burning everything that his army didn’t eat… It took them decades to recover. Remember “Gone With The Wind?” That was Sherman who burned down Atlanta. When he turned north from the southern coast, he singled out South Carolina as the one who started the shat and vowed he was gonna pay special attention to them. South Carolina was the first state to secede from the Union. When he finished with them, it was an unwritten law not to even say his name in the state for 50 years. The South wanted him tried as a war criminal and even to this day if you wanna mix it up with a southern racist… tell him Sherman was yo hero and then just start shooting… you did bring a gun.. didn’t you? Don’t you go down in those woods and tell them Sherman was yo hero and you ain’t strapped.. Anywho, as much as they hated Sherman, it was one man they despised even more… His name was General Benjamin Butler. He was so hated by Davis, that the confederate president put out a “Special Proclamation” for him. Now when you put out a Special Proclamation, that’s saying sumpin… It’s like you and yo neighbor is having a beef and you go on national TV and swear to gawd if you see him you gonna beat the tar out of him and then pave over his grave with that shat so you can walk yo dog and he can take a leak… yep you saying sumpin… you made a proclamation… and hopefully you know how to cash dat check… anywho… So why was Davis so mad at Butler? Well there two rules written in stone in them days, 1) You can say what you want to about me, but dont you go ucking with the Southern Belle.. Flower of the South!! and 2) see number 1. To southern men, southern women were the epitome of humankind.. the sun and the moon… the earth and the very air that you breath out yo mouth.. the mountains and rivers.. and the fish that’s in them…. the tree bark and the ants that that crawls on it… and….well you get the point.. Anyway, Butler was assigned as the military commander over New Orleans in 1862. The Civil War was in full gear at the time. The Big Easy was the south’s largest port and was taken down early in the war by Admiral Farragut and General Butler. Butler would lead the city for the rest of the war. Anywho, with a lot of the men fighting for the confederacy, those who were left, were particularly hostile to the Union presence, especially the Southern Belle’s. They were mad because every day they would post the wars casualty list in the papers and many of their fathers, brothers cousins and boyfriends would be on it. So they were more hostile to Union soldiers than a racist at a NWA concert. They would call them names, spit on them and do all kinds of crude stuff.. especially to the officers. Well the last straw was when they started emptying their chamber pots on them from the balconies. A chamber pot is what they used instead of a bathroom toilet. Butler came out with what was known as General Order #28:

HDQRS. DEPARTMENT OF THE GULF
New Orleans, May 15, 1862.

As the officers and soldiers of the United States have been subject to repeated insults from the women (calling themselves ladies) of New Orleans in return for the most scrupulous non-interference and courtesy on our part, it is ordered that hereafter when any female shall by word, gesture, or movement insult or show contempt for any officer or soldier of the United States she shall be regarded and held liable to be treated as a woman of the town plying her avocation.
By command of Major-General Butler:

GEO. C. STRONG,
Assistant Adjutant-General and Chief of Staff.

Yep.. he said they was a bunch of hoes and from now on they would be treated like one. Such an assault on southern womanhood had never been seen or heard of. The reaction was swift! The caricature of the virtue and innocence of the Southern Belle was not only know here in the US but internationally. His order was condemned as far away as England. He came known as the “Beast” of New Orleans. The mayor of New Orleans refused enact the order and Butler had him put in prison. They started selling toilet paper and chamber pots with his face on it. One woman tried him and was also imprisoned with having only one servant and eating soldiers rations. She had laughed at the remains of a Union soldier during a funeral procession. She was also cut off from all communications. Although the amount of attacks on the Union soldiers decreased, the woman that he had imprisoned had turned her into a martyr and he was reassigned to another location shortly after. But before he was reassigned President Davis issued a Special Proclamation:

GENERAL ORDERS, No. 111.

I. The following proclamation of the President is published for the information and guidance of all concerned therein:

BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE CONFEDERATE STATES.
A PROCLAMATION.

Now therefore, I Jefferson Davis, President of the Confederate States of America, and in their name do pronounce and declare the said Benjamin F. Butler to be a felon deserving of capital punishment. I do order that he be no longer considered or treated simply as a public enemy of the Confederate States of America but as an outlaw and common enemy of mankind, and that in the event of his capture the officer in command of the capturing force do cause him to be immediately executed by hanging; and I do further order that no commissioned officer of the United States taken captive shall be released on parole before exchange until the said Butler shall have met with due punishment for his crimes.

By the President:
    J. P. BENJAMINSecretary of State.

This is not the Proclamation in its entirely, but you can read the rest here. He wanted him dead.. and from now on there would be no prisoner exchanges unless they saw his cold dead body with bullet holes in it!! Anywho, this was in 1862 and it would be three more years before the war ended. By March of 1865, with the Confederacy all but beaten, he enacted General Order 14. The order called for the enlistment of slaves into the confederate army with the promise of freedom after the war. Yeah right.. Slave: “Yes suh massa.. give me a gun… and I’ll be right behind you…” Anywho it was too little too late. The Civil War ended April 9, 1865, just a month after General Order 14 was signed. By the way, historians say there were more black men sitting with white women at a Klan BBQ than enlisted under the order…

Give It Up

On April 3, 1865, with Grant preparing to take Richmond, Davis fled to Danville, Virginia. The plan was to get to Cuba, regroup and come back bigger and better than ever. I hope somebody told them that Cuba was having its own problems with slavery and that a bunch of whooped up racist was the last thing they wanted to see in Cuba… anywho, that didn’t pan out. So Lee surrendered on April 12, 1865 and Lincoln was assassinated April 14, 1865, just two days later. Thats when the shat hit the fire.. they thought Davis had something to do with the killing. Andrew Johnson, Lincoln’s successor, issued a $100,000 reward for the capture of Davis. That’s close to two million dollars in today’s money. On May 5, 1865 Davis met with the confederate cabinet for the last time to dissolve it. On May 10, he was captured in Irwinville, Georgia, by Union forces. Now the scuttlebutt is that when they caught him, he was dressed in womens clothes. They weren’t as sophisticated as we are nowadays and being accused of dressing as a women was as ugly as you could get back then. In reality, the confederate president had a cold and had borrowed his wife’s scarf to wrap around him. The rumor persisted and is still believed by some, so I just wanted to set the record straight. Anywho, there were calls for him to be hung or in the least do to him what he wanted to do to Butler.. but alas he was imprisoned at at Fortress Monroe in Virginia. Now the commanding general at Fort Monroe was a man named Nelson Miles. Nelson Miles was the last person you would want to be your jailer if you was Jefferson Davis.

Nelson Miles was working as a crockery store clerk in Boston when the American Civil War began. He entered the Union Army as a volunteer on September 9, 1861, and fought in many crucial battles. He became a lieutenant in the 22nd Regiment Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry and was commissioned a lieutenant colonel of the 61st New York Volunteer Infantry Regiment on May 31, 1862. He was promoted to colonel after the Battle of Antietam. Other battles he participated in include Fredericksburg, Chancellorsville (during which he was shot in the neck and abdomen), and the Appomattox Campaign. Wounded four times in battle, on March 2, 1867, Miles was brevetted a brigadier general in the regular army in recognition of his actions at Chancellorsville. He was again brevetted, this time to the rank of major general, for his actions at the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House. He received the Medal of Honor on July 23, 1892, for his gallantry at Chancellorsville. He was appointed brigadier-general of volunteers as of May 12, 1864, for the Battles of the Wilderness and Spotsylvania Court House. On October 21, 1865, he was appointed a major general of volunteers at the age of 26.

The battles he participated in were all “major” battles of the Civil War. Tens of thousands of Union soldiers were killed in these battles and hundreds of thousands were injured. To tell you the truth I am surprised Jefferson Davis lived longer that a few minutes in that man’s prison. I mean for breakfast he would serve him a bullet and a glass of salt water. Every second his life was in danger… they say he didn’t even use toilet paper because he thought Miles had poisoned it… Miles wanted him dead!! Okay but for real.. Miles did treat Davis very harshly, so harshly in fact that he was replaced on fear that Davis would die under his supervision. Davis was to be tried for treason. A jury of 12 black and 12 white men was recruited by United States Circuit Court judge John Curtiss Underwood in preparation for the trial. Former Slave: “Suh can we hang him after lunch as my family ain’t heh yet..” However two years later and with no trial, Jefferson Davis was released. One of the main reasons for his release is that there is no law in the Constitution which says a state cannot leave the Union. There is no law that say a state can leave the Union either. In any event they did not want the hassle and some also feared that it might impede reconciliation. I mean a significant portion of the economy had been destroyed in the War and they needed that back. On December 24, 1868, President Andrew Johnson issue a pardon for all those accused of treason in the war. On February 28, 1869, the case against Davis was dismissed and he was a free man. Now by free I mean free to do what he wanted. The year earlier he had been granted bail in the amount of $100,000, which was paid by  Cornelius Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt was worth 100 million dollars when he died in 1877.. which is equivalent to north of 2.5 billion in today’s money. Aw that’s not a lot of money you might say… in todays money no.. but 2 billion in 1877 was a lot dough. I mean a loaf of bread cost 11 cents then. Anywho, Jefferson was a free man. Davis continued his racist ways up until the day he died on December 6, 1889. He was initially buried in New Orleans but was dug up and transferred to Richmond where his remains now resides. His funeral was one of the largest the South had ever seen. Now you might think that a mo tried to put a confederate flag on his coffin, but the US government wasn’t having none of that and confederate flag that was covering his coffin.. well they placed a US flag over it and that’s the way it stayed. Buried in Richmond, the Daughters Of the Confederacy had a life sized statue of him erected at his grave site as promised to his wife for moving his body to Richmond. The cornerstone was laid in 1896 to a crowd estimated at 125,000 people, half of whom were probably Klan members… anyway it’s still there after 125 years in Hollywood Cemetery in Richmond Virginia. So in the beginning I told you the Davis family had immigrated to Georgia when they first arrived in America with Jefferson Davis great grandfather. So although Davis wasn’t tried for treason, he was stripped of his American citizenship. In 1978 president Jimmy Carter of Plains, Georgia, signing Senate Joint Resolution 16 restored it, citing it as the last reconciliation of the Civil War.

Thanks for reading ©Hill1News








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