SANBOG
For two days I have watching eleven old white men try to install a drunken misogynist onto the Supreme Court. The implications of a Kavanaugh supreme court justice is staggering, affecting everything from woman rights to presidential power. Hiding behind a woman prosecutor, who was hired to ask the tough questions, they had no idea that in front of the prosecutor, Americans were drawing a line in the sand. To follow the story, you will need to know the terminology. You can find that here.
ITSUB
Yesterday, Grand Chairman Chuck Grassley, (R) Iowa, issued an edict which in essence stated, “I don’t care how many people tried to rape Christine Blassey Ford. By god that boy is going to be confirmed tomorrow at 1:30 pm. The hearing is adjourned!” Now for those who were watching this hot mess, you must have noticed the prosecutor they hired had somehow disappeared about midway through the hearing. She left just minutes before Academy Award winner and Great Magi, Lindsey Graham, (R) South Carolina, lost his cool and his mind as he went on a five minute rant about the virtuous and maligned Realm Master, Brett Kavanaugh. After Magi Graham toss the shiz in the air, Lesser Titan, Ted Cruz, (R) Texas,unleashed the rest of the furies and goblins. One by one they addressed their base, citing the “Sor” and the “Klasp.” Afterwards, Grand Chairman Grassley banged the gavel and they patted each other on the back.
KLASP
Today at 9:30 the Den reconvened and a vote was to be taken at 1:30 pm for confirmation and advancement to the Senate Empire. Everything was going as expected. Then the unthinkable happened. Lesser Klokard, Jeff Flakes was cornered in an elevator by a few freedom fighters and they snatched the hood and the robe off before exposing him. Although Flakes wasn’t charged with indecent exposure, he was charged with indecent humanity. “Look me in the face!! I said look me in the face!!!,” shouted one of the freedom fighters. Klokard Flakes and a couple of his Klexter’s slithered by the freedom fights. Klokard Flakes was heard to be mumbling something that sounded like, ” I wanna be a senator.” Back in Empire Hall, agitation shook the Realm, and the invisible knights became invisible. One by one they disappeared and then reappeared. Grand Chairman Grassley banged the gavel and gave the floor to Klokard Flakes. ” I wanna be a senator,” said the whispering Klokard. “If I don’t get to be a senator, then I’m going to expose the whole Dominion!!” The look on Grand Chairman Grassley’s face said it all, “You piss ant, Ima get you!” Grand Chairman Grassley then turned to his “left,” and offered the floor to the Enlightened, and 1st Woman Diane Feinstein. “Grand Chairman, the only way you getting out of this, if you give up your boy, Realm Master, Brett Kavanaugh.” By this time, Chief Soul Brother and Commander of the Crew, Cory Booker, was doing just that, booking up. “I’m not going to be a party to this Grand Chairman.” He was promptly followed by Kamala (Kamikaze) Harris and Mazie (The Amazing) Hirono. It was getting real.
ORION
Faced with defeat, Grand Chairman Grassey had no choice but to give in to the Enlightened. ” OK!! you win, let this vote out of Empire Hall and I will give up Realm Master Kavanaugh, provided that the final decision goes to the Grand Wizard and the Imperial Great Grand Wizard.” The Enlightened agreed. In a week’s time, they will meet in the Chamber of Orion and decide the fate of a nation.
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