Alex: And welcome to Blackery.. My name is Alex Trippup. Lets meet our contestants… first from Youkidenme, Georgia… Heshud Walkaway. Welcome to Blackery Heshud. It says here you are trying to take a Senate seat.. tell us a little bit about that..
Heshud: About what?
Alex: About you trying to take a Senate seat…
Heshud: I don’t know where you heard that from!! I ain’t no thief!! If they told you I was trying to take a senate seat.. they was LYING!!
Alex: Okayyyyyy… Next from Pistolwhip, New York, we have Tagawd Fada.. Tagawd I hear you’re just getting back.. Where were you?
Tagawd: Upstate..
Alex: Interesting… where upstate?
Tagawd: Fussdegree…
Alex: Frank do we have security? We do?.. okay… now for our final contestant from Ropeburn, Mississippi, Mr. Skinn Hed!.. Skin.. I’m afraid you are going to have to give that to security… thanks… okay.. tell us a little about yourself Skinn..
Skinn: They told me you was a white man.. I ain’t gonna be answering no whole bunch of question from a…
Alex: You say it… and every dentist in America is going to be dreaming about you tonight!!! Now let’s Play Blackery! Our categories are.. OMG!!.. Ima… How About… My Blickety…. and Say It Again.. Heshud you won the coin toss, so you go first..
Hershud: Okay Alex.. I’ll take “OMG” for $100..
Alex: Here’s the clue…You wore the wrong clothes for the occasion….
Hershud: What is OMG… they didn’t say I would be serving..
Alex: No… Anyone else..? Skinn?
Skinn: What is OMG!!… that boy is wearing a suit and it ain’t even Sunday..
Alex: That’s it.. your pick…
Skin: I’ll take “Say It Again” for $50 boy..
Alex: Okay… and the clue is… By 2050 people of color will outnumber whites in the United States..
Skinn: What is say it again and there’s gonna be a misunderstanding…
Alex: No.. Tagawd…
Tagawd: What is say it again and I’m going to start buying stock in chinese food stores..
Alex: No… Hershud you want to try it?…
Heshud: What is say it again and I’m going to call my lawyer.. cause ain’t none of them kids mine…
Alex: Aww.. no… the answer is say it again and call me a boy and Ima jump over this podium and whip yo azz Skinn… you got the board…
Skinn: I’ll take “Ima” for for $75…
Alex: And the clue is… He laughed when he pulled your girlfriends dress up… Heshud?
Heshud: What is Ima tell Donald there’s plenty more where that came from…
Alex: No… Tagawd…
Tagawd: What is.. Ima bust a cap..
Alex: That’s it.. you got the board..
Tagawd: Okay Alex.. let’s try “My Blickety” for $200
Alex: and the clue is… He’s under the bed… Skinn?
Skinn: What is that fellow sure is dumb cause I hide my Blickety under the couch…
Alex: What…? okay no… Tagawd?
Tagawd: What is you got to the count of three to come from under there before I pull my Blickety out.. one .. “Bang! Band! Bang!”
Alex: That’s it.. you’re on a roll.. your pick..
Tagawd: Let’s try “How About” for $300 Alex..
Alex: and the clue is … “You missed…” Heshud…?
Heshud: What is I didn’t know she was 14, how about we talked about this…
Alex: No… Skinn?
Skinn: What is I know y’all in that house! How about ya’ll come out and get it over with..
Alex: No… Tagawd..?
Tagawd: What is……. what is….
Alex: Oh I’m sorry Tagawd.. you took a little too much time…
Tagawd: Oh yeah… how about… What is one.. two..
Alex: That’s it!! Your board when we come back from these messages…
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Alex: Welcome back to Blackery.. Tagawd I think you have the board..
Tagawd: Alex I’ll take OMG for $200..
Alex: and the clue is “Know you didn’t..” Skinn?
Skinn: What is OMG!!, I know you didn’t introduce my mamma to that black preacher!
Alex: No… Heshud?
Heshud: What is OMG!!, I know you didn’t invite these white folks over here for dinner and we having chitlins!
Alex: That’s it! You got the board…
Heshud: I’ll take “Ima”, for $400..
Alex: and the clue is..” She saw your car at the hotel last night.” Heshud?
Heshud: What is Ima tell her I was sleep driving…
Alex: No…!! no, no, no… Aww hell to the no!! Tagawd?
Tagawd: What is Ima sneak into the basement and pretend I was sleep down there and call in a stolen car report..
Alex: No.. you want to try Skinn?
Skinn: What is… Ima tell her I was stealing the hair shampoo for her and went to sleep after snorting up the fancy soap…
Alex: Ima give you that one… you got the board..
(BEEP BEEP BEEP..)
Alex: Oh.. I’m afraid that all the time we have for regular Blackery. It’s time to get ready for our final clue after these messages…
Producer: Their check bounced Alex…
Alex: What??!!! Their check bounced? Okay folks Ima let you in on a little secret…. Don’t you go out and buy that SHUTTUP TM… I sprayed that shat into somebody’s face and I just got out the hospital last week!! Yeah it puckers they lips up… but it don’t do nuttin bout they hands…
Alex: Okay gentlemen please write down your wagers… Our last topic is “Before I ” You have 30 seconds.. (Music playing…) Okay gentleman put your pens downs and we will go to Heshud with $200.. what is your answer Heshud?
Heshud: What is before I admit that is my child, I’ll take all my chromosomes out and sell them on Ebay..
Alex: Oh.. I’m sorry that is not the correct response.. you wagered $100 and that will leave with $100.. Next we will go to Skinn who has $375.00.. what is your response?
Skinn: What is before I get caught tanning on a beach, I will put on a dashiki and go line dancing with Al Sharpton at an Obama BBQ on Juneteenth…
Alex: Aww.. I’m sorry.. that’s not what we are looking for.. what did you wager…? $300.. that will take you down to $75.. and now lets see what Tagawd has with $600 on the board.. what do you have Tagawd?
Tagawd: What is before I lose this game, I’ll put a cap in everybody on this stage…
Alex: Yep! Yep, that’s what we are looking for… What was you wager? Oh… you wagered a cool million huh.. Well look, Ima give you their money too… Let’s all give a round of applause for our new champion!!
Audience: Clap clap.
Tagawd: BANG!! BANG!! BANG!!
Audience: CLAP!! CLAP!! CLAP!! CLAP!! CLAP!! WHISTLE!! CLAP!! FOOT STOMPING!!
Alex: Thanks for watching Blackery!! See you next time!!
Thanks for reading ©Hill1News
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