Well I ‘ll be a blue bellied, green polka dotted, Alabama porch monkey. Second thought I think I’ll just go in blackface and get my boy to dress as the Klan. Maybe I’ll dress as the Klan….
Ralph, Ralph, Ralph… who do you think we are? If you haven’t heard about it, the governor of Virginia was recently exposed in a racist costume. In Governor Ralph Northam’s medical yearbook, he is allegedly dress in blackface or in a full regalia hard pressed white Klan uniform. Now at first the governor apologized and threw himself on the alter of the “Blessed Black Goddess Of The Ever Suffering Hood People.” He lamented, “I did it… please forgive me, holder of the sacred black trust.” Then in a change of heart, he decided to cast his destiny to the “Magnificent And Holiest of the Blue Eye, “Fukit”, Goddess of the Supreme White Privilege and daughter of the High And Mighty, Thasrite.”
Yes is the Governor is now saying he is not in the picture. The pictures he submitted and are on his yearbook page. When the picture was first exposed Friday, the Governor put out the following statement, “I am deeply sorry for the decision I made to appear as I did in this photo and for the hurt that decision caused then and now. I am ready to do the hard work of regaining your trust.” He added that he was committed to staying in office through the remainder of his term. Within 24 hours, his wife, 3rd cousin of Fukit, and president of ” I’ll Kut Them Both Off,” had change his mind. Appearing with him at his Saturday news conference, a defiant governor declared, “That ain’t me in that picture!!” While vehemently denying he took part in the Klan photo, he did say he once dressed up like Michael Jackson and put a little shoe polish on his cheeks. A hush broke over the media. Finally, one brave reported broke the silence and asked the governor could he do the moon walk. Now I know you think I’m kidding, but you can’t make this stuff up.
Suddenly there was a noise, like something metallic sound hitting the floor. On closer examination, it was found to be a serrated 6 inch pink knife. A visibly shaken governor looked at the instrument and then at his wife. “Not appropriate,” she said with closed eyes. The governor looked out over the press room and said sheepishly, “my wife said not appropriate.” Can you believe this guy was getting ready to moonwalk while being accused of being a hard rock racist? After another 10 minutes of pulling the “Fallen”down even further, the news conference was ended.
Today, calls for the Governor to step down became increasingly more vocal. Most of the Democratic presidential contenders condemned the act and questioned the governor’s ethic’s. Voters were disillusioned and felt betrayed. I don’t blame them. They busted their asses to get him in there, only to find out that all could for him was shine his shoes, cook his dinner and open the door. I feel sorry for his black staff. What’s going thru their mind? Hard as it may seem to us, there is no legal precedent for him to step down. What he did was not illegal. Yes, there are mechanisms to remove a sitting Governor. According to Virginia’s constitution Article IV Section 17,
the impeachment process comes into play in cases of “malfeasance in office, corruption, neglect of duty, or other high crimes or misdemeanor.” Yep, you can be a high kicking, pointy hat wearing, high quality Nazi and still be governor in America. Just like in Congress, the process would start in the House of Delegates and be prosecuted by the state Senate. Two-thirds of the Senate would then have to vote to remove Northam from office. It’s never been done in Virginia. Some people have said the statue is not applicable.
In fact there have only been seven governors in U.S. history that have been removed from office after impeachment trials. The last one being Rod Blagojevich, a Democrat, in January 2009. He was removed for selling President Obama’s senate seat. Blagojevich was sentenced to 14 years in federal prison and is serving time in Englewood. He is eligible for parole in 2024. Even if Northam is impeached, he cannot be charged with a federal crime, so he would not get a prison sentence. We will follow this story and if there is any justice at all, may the gods of “Kelly’s Shoe And Boot Leather,” be with us.
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