Twas the Night Before Christmas is a poem first published anonymously in 1823 and later attributed to Clement Clarke Moore. As a child it was one of the first poems I learned. Anywho, below his a comical take on this much admired work. Please enjoy and Happy Holidays!!
T’was the night before impeachment and in the White House, as the crowds gathered outside, He turned the lights out.
Subpoenas and summons were stacked on the floor, in case the large crowd, broke down the front door.
If he could make it upstairs and tweet to his friends, “Please come and get me, I’ll make America Great Once Again.”
But it fell on deaf ears, not one heard his plea, “You cut our food stamps and Social Security.”
They had been fool once, so they felt no regret, when they told him to kiss, where the sun don’t shine at.
He sat on his bed, had he run out of luck? Then thought to himself… “I really don’t give a @##!,”
Because Mitch and the boys, will come set me free, how could they survive, without a stable genius like me.
When all of a sudden, there came such a clatter, He jump from the bed to see what’s the matter.
There down on the lawn was Rudy and Mitch, Pelosi and Biden, and Graham and Schiff.
They laugh and they joked, not nary a fuss, It took just a minute, to see he’d been set up
They pointed at the window, with shackles in their hands, while in the Rose Garden, Pence had his head in the sand
Police in their wagons, Marines with their guns, CIA, FBI, all them had come.
Their badges they flashed, their ID’s were shown, they rush to the command center, and called on the phone
He snatched up the thing and said “what’s up jack, can you call me a little later, after I finish my Big Mac.
He thinks this a joke, he thinks we are playing, then with a snap of a finger, windows start breaking.
They rushed into his room, he said “y’all this ain’t cool!!” they were everywhere he looked, some even came out of the stool.
They pushed him to the floor and cuffed his hands behind his back. He said ain’t this some sh!t, they sent Latinos and Blacks.
How did they get in? They don’t know who they crossed. I’ll find out sooner or later, no matter the cost.
Do you have anything to say? Now’s the best time to talk. He asked for his wife. They said she took a walk
He rolled back his eyes and mumbled something bout death. The rest they couldn’t hear, cause he said it under his breath.
We will give you one chance, the only one you will see, either you talk to us, or you talk to Nancy Pelosi.
You know she ripped some right off, right on national TV, when she told that reporter, you bedda not mess with me.
You can do what you want, but I hope you will listen. Cause you’ll sure need your jewels, when they send you to prison.
Well he stood up straight and said with a grin, you owe me a call, I wanna talk to my boy Putin.
They rush him outside, threw him in the police truck. they chained up his feet and taped his mouth shut.
It might have been a month or it might have been ten years, he really didn’t know, how long he had been there.
In the dimly lit cell, in his mind he would joke, am I really going crazy cause I want to talk to that roach?
So he talked to the roach, he even called him by name, when under the door an envelope came.
He put Blu on his shoulder, and opened it with delight, it was signed by V. Putin and it was signed by his wife.
He grabbed his old glasses and held it up to the light. It said Merry Christmas To All And To All A Good Night.
Reprint: © Hill1News 2019