Audience: PER..DUE!! PER…DUE!! PER…DUE!! PER…DUE!!
Perdue: THAT’S RIGHT!!! I’M YOUR LEADER!! LEADERS LEAD!! YOU KNOW WHAT LEADERS DO!! SO LET ME HEAR IT!!
Audience: KISS ASS!! KISS ASS!! KISS ASS!! KISS ASS!!
Perdue: No… no..!! You suppose to say “LEAD US!!…” you suppose to say “LEAD US!!…” now let’s try this again..
Perdue: soOOOO… LET ME HEAR IT!!
Audience: SCREW US!! SCREW US!! SCREW US!! SCREW US!!
Perdue: Who are you people???
David Alfred Perdue is a good ole boy Georgia U.S Senator running against Jon Ossoff in a race that will see who controls Congress. While Democrats have a firm hold on the House, the Senate is controlled by master puppeteer, Donald Trump. We all watched as over the years the master worked to give us the illusion that his puppets had some. I never saw a puppet with any but with all this talk about grabbing somebody by their private parts… who knows.. maybe the puppet master has them. Anywho, Perdue falls as the 19th richest senator, with an estimated net worth of around $15 million. The richest senator is Rick Scott of Florida, with an estimated net worth of around $259 million. The richest member of Congress is Representative Kelly Loeffler of Georgia who has a fortune in excess of $500 million. Now David Perdue is not a member of the “It Takes A Tough Man to Make A Tender Chicken,” dynasty. We would be thinking about Frank Perdue of the Perdue chicken fame. It was founded by his parents, Arthur and Pearl Perdue in 1920. They started out selling eggs. Then in 1925 Arthur open a hatchery and started selling layer chicks. I’m like… layer chicks? What did he do pack them standing on top of each other? Isn’t that what a layer is, one material on top of another? I am sure my chicken raising friends would know what this means, but for the rest of us poultry challenged folks.. you have to read it as, “lay- er.” Instead of selling the eggs himself, he started selling the hens who laid the eggs. You know I hate to use cliches, but the rest is history. The U.S poultry market is worth about $48 billion. Perdue Chickens controls about 7 percent of it. So back to the senator, the only thing he has in common with the real Perdue’s is that he’s in the chicken business also. Well maybe it would be more accurate to say he is a chicken, Stick a couple of feathers up his ask me no more questions and put him in a yellow suit then you might have a hard time telling them apart… buck-buck-buck!! There I go using a term which non chicken people might not recognize. A male chicken otherwise known as a rooster emits the well known cock-a-doodle-doo sound, also known as crowing, while the female chicken or hen emits the buck-buck-buck sound. Some hens also crow, but David does not. I will let you draw your own inferences… Anywho, during last months debate the senator refused to debate Jon Ossoff. People said he was chicken, ( see explanation above) which is why he refused to show. David said the reason he didn’t come to the debate was because there was hair in his chicken feed and Colonel Sanders was in the audience looking at him suspiciously… okay.. I know I’m wrong.. David: “Man you wrong..” Okay David… I will try to be more professional.. cock-a-doodle-doo!!! So the real reason David did not attend the last debate with Ossoff is that some people thought that Ossoff fried Perdue’s chicken and poured his grease down the kitchen sink. Perdue said, “that’s a no.. no..” The two traded unusually personal barbs and Perdue wanted to throw hands after a particularly ugly remark was made about his mother… Okay I am exaggerating… but after last debate, the two campaigns confirmed the two would not be debating again because things might get out of hand after Perdue sent Ossoff a letter saying he better watch his mouth… okay I’ll stop… but things did get heated at the last debate and the Perdue camp refused to debate again.
Aide: Senator the new death threats you ordered have arrived… Do you want me to send him one?
Senator: Let me read it first:
“Fill In Racial Slur.” Leeve Rite Now!!
” Fill in racial slur” we know where u at. U beta watch yo bak. Tha Merican Peepel r tired and want somebodee in a tree. If u vote four that race traator then ” Fill in racial slur” we cummin four u. We gona blow up dat shiney new Cadilak u got…den we gonna tell the police captin u was sleppin wit his wife. Den u gona be rested… Wen u git out u gonna have to wok to get a round and we gona be waitin. We noe u eat at popeyes and den u go to the bafroom. Wen u flush tat tollet den it gona blow yo “Fill in cuss word” ass to pieces. We gona hang anytang lef of u. So “Fill in racial slur.” leeve town… rite now. U bin worned!!
Tha Merican Peepel
Senator: I want you to fill in his name where it says
“Fill in racial slur.” Sign it “Buck-Buck-Buck,” then tape it to his burned out car….
Sounds like the senator is not playing…lol… David Perdue was born in Macon Georgia. Both of his parents were school teachers. Perdue went to Georgia Tech where he earned a bachelor’s degree in industrial engineering in 1972 and a master’s degree in Operations Research in 1975. Operations Research (OR) is a discipline that deals with the application of advanced analytical methods to help make better decisions. Now I know you are waiting for me to make some kind of snide remark… and I am… a little later. Okay its time.. ” Mo$##@Fu&%%$! please!!” Anywho, from 1961 to 1980 he oversaw the desegregation of the Houston County, Georgia school system where he had been elected Superintendent. So what…? you might say.. he oversaw the desegregation of a Georgia public school system. Well that was no easy task. Even today recent studies conclude that Atlanta is one of the most segregated cities in the U.S. and the most segregated in the South. The most segregated city in the U.S is Pine Bluff, Arkansas. They don’t have newspapers because they don’t allow black letters on white paper… folks have been known to disappear because they had on sunglasses… Eh stay away…. Anywho, overseeing desegregation in the years before 1980’s Georgia was a recipe for a braided necktie or if you wasn’t black.. an unmarked grave with a watermelon on it. No… anything having to do with desegregation in Georgia during those years was not for the faint of heart. I guess that’s why he quit… tired of seeing shovels and watermelon rinds left at his school parking spot. During the nineties he worked for firms like Sara Lee, Haagar Clothing and Reebok, where he is credited for revolutionizing a contract with the NFL that positioned the company shoe brand with it’s competitors.. Nike. So for those who think he ain’t familiar with spooks, then say so.. Just Do It.. Speaking of spooks, I watched the Netflix movie about Ma Rainey’s Bottom. Ma Rainey was a noted jazz singer in the twenties. I’m not going to tell you about it for those who haven’t seen it yet, but it brought back old memories of me listening to my parents and the old folks at my Aunt Annie’s gin joint near Newport News Va., when they would be talking about the boots and the spooks.. both terms for negros’. After listening to how they used the term spooks last night, I am going to try and figure out what kind of negro a boot was. A spook is someone who is afraid of whites. I still got some older family members, I will see if they know and get back to you. Anywhoooo…. at the turn of the 21st century he went to work for Pillowtex and then got a job as CEO of Dollar General. So we all got jokes about Dollar General and ima leave it to your imagination. It was his stint at Dollar General that he made his millions He was instrumental in selling it to private investors for $42 million, but had to pay millions of dollars to settle shareholder lawsuits alleging that he and other executives undersold shareholders. He got a few other corporate jobs and finally went into business with his cousin, Sonny Perdue. Now Sonny had been Governor of Georgia at one time. Together the acquired a company named Benton Express, an Atlanta-based global trading firm. When I open up an article to see how much it was worth.. the article said “None of yo business nig**r,” then it crashed my computer.
NFL: You must be very proud of yourself about the contract you were able to negotiate David.
David: Yes sir ..it won’t be long before we have the nigras paying $200 dollars for a chinese shoe we make for $8.00 (Both men laugh..)
NFL: What do you think will be a good name for it David?
David: Let’s call it the “VEN-1”
David: Yeah.. Very Expensive .. you figure out what the “N” stands for.. (Both men fall on the floor laughing and hollering..)
NFL: OMG you are quite a card David… this calls for a drink!! Sally can you send the boy in here with some Southern Comfort?
Sally: Yes sir… boy go in there and bring the boss these glasses of whiskey..?
Boy: Yes Ma’am..
NFL: Sit em right down there boy… Tell me… look at this shoe on this chart.. would you buy this shoe boy?
Boy: Yes Suh!! That’s a fine looking shoe!
David: Okay.. here’s 50 cent for yo trouble.. now don’t you go giving dat to no gal… you put that away and save to buy yo self a new butler suit… a man in a suit can go far!
Boy: Thank ya suh…
David: We going to be millionaires!! That boy will spend all the money he makes in a month to wear the exclusive, (both men say the name at the same time..) VEN -1!! (David and the other man’s laughter dies down after a couple of minutes..) That sure was a tall nigra.. how long he been working here?
NFL: Oh, he will only be here for a couple of days.. heard he got a contract with the Chicago Bulls…
Not sure which is more effective… karma or being an idiot. In 2014 Perdue ran for the Senate seat against Michelle Nunn. Although he touted his success at Dollar General, critics pointed out his failures at PillowText where because of his “creativity,” and the eventual closure of Pillowtex, he manage to preside over the losses of thousands of jobs, not to mention they gave him a couple of million as pocket money when he left. He went straight to Washington and presented himself as bringing a working perspective to Washington. Now some people said the only thing he worked at was washing the dirty money that flowed into his campaign coffers. Perdue’s campaign paid a $30,000 fine due to violations in fundraising. An federal elections commission auditor found the 2014 campaign received at least $117,000 in prohibited contributions and more than $325,000 that exceeded legal limits on campaign donations. They got more that $14 million in contributions, a record for political contributions in Georgia at the time. His competitors talked about digging up Elliot Ness to fight this type of corruption. Alas he came in on the coattails of Donald Trump and handily defeated Nunn. So one of the first things Perdue does when he gets to Washington is too bend over and pray… yep I’m going to hell.. but David will be down there with me. In June 2016, at the Faith and Freedom Coalition’s Road to Majority conference, Perdue said, “We should pray for Barack Obama. But I think we need to be very specific about how we pray. We should pray like Psalms 109:8 says. It says, ‘Let his days be few, and let another have his office.” Why the secret service didn’t come in there and beat the land of cotton out of his ass, I will never know. In a statement, Perdue’s office said, “He in no way wishes harm to our president and everyone in the room understood that.” I don’t know about you, but if somebody comes up to me and says, “Let yo days be few..” Dem is fighting words at the very least… I might even have to pull out my yackety yack and my gun too!!! Anywho… like Loeffler, when Perdue got the private briefing about the covid pandemic, the first thing he did was head for his money. Stocks in casinos and hotels… gone… Stocks in pharmaceuticals and PPE… buy it all.. “put some money in string stock in case they run out of string to tie the mask on…. jack it up to $25 an inch.” Now you know why a paper mask cost $109.31… When he was confronted about it, he said the same thing Loeffler said.. ” He had no idea that those commodities would be sold 1/2 hour after he got out of the briefing and that the buying of stock in surgical mask, gowns, thermometers, video conferencing, hospitals and pharmaceuticals was coincidental.. “Oh why didn’t you say so at first!” He might have as well said it like that because the Senate ethics committee clear them of any wrongdoing. I figured it was all about politics. You can’t have the two senator whose seat are up for election and who’s lost would mean the lost of the senate, facing ethics charges for high crimes and misdemeanors… okay I’m being a little bit dramatic but you know what I mean. Outside groups have poured more than $84 million into Perdue’s reelection with similar amounts given to Loeffler.President Elect Biden has been the first time Georgia has went to a Democrat in 30 years. During the Presidential race over $500 million was spent. Fortunately the dough doesn’t matter. Democrats outnumber Republican in the Goober state. You thought i was gonna say Peach state? Like peaches, Goobers or peanuts represent an important revenue source to the state. The got a whole lot of names for Georgia… the Buzzard state.. the Yankee Of The South state and I know I am going to get some negative feedback.. but it is also known as the Cracker state. Now before ya’ll start burning crosses and hanging ropes from trees, let me explain. Along with Florida, Georgia has been called “The Cracker State” in earlier times. This Georgia nickname was a derogatory term that referred to immigrants, called “Crackers,” from the mountains of Virginia and North Carolina. Crackers were considered less than ideal citizens. So all this time you thought the derogatory name was something we made up. Nope.. they called themselves that the same way we called ourselves the “N” word. But I don’t want you to try this at home because there could be consequences and repercussions… Finally in 2018 while attend a meeting with President Trump, Perdue overheard the President call African nations, “sh*tholes and that immigration should be blocked for their countries. Of course Perdue said he did not hear the President make that statement. A few days later, he said the President definitely did not say that. A few days after that he confided in an associate that he thought the President said “sh*thouse.” “Oh that makes all the difference.” Perdue is married and has two sons, David A. Perdue III and Blake Perdue, and three grandchildren.
He and his wife live in Sea Island, Georgia where they are currently residing in a private beachfront community that is building sea walls to combat rising sea levels which is a known effect of climate change. Perdue is one of 22 senators who voted to leave the Paris Climate Treaty.