Blackery

Alex: And welcome to another show of Blackery! My name is Alex Trippup. Lets meet our contestants… First from Hebroke, New Jersey… please welcome Adollar Andadime!
Alex: I saw you… take that mike out your pocket Andadime… Now that’s a very strange name you got there Adollar.. Can you tell us how you got it?
Adollar: Well my daddy was at the strip joint with a dollar and a dime…
Alex: (Interrupts Adollar).. thank you… Our next contestant comes from Itssundown, Mississippi…. lets welcome Notta Blakinsite… welcome to Blackery Notta. It says here you got a strange job in Itssundown.. tell us what you do there?
Nota: I’m a Smacker…
Alex: You’re a what?
Notta: I smack em if they still in town by night fall.
Alex: Okayyyyy… Our next contestant and returning champion comes from Mississippi too! Let’s welcome Iya Smackubak… Iya looks like you have a neighbor here.. what part of Mississippi are you from?
Iya: I’m from Iwishamutta Woods…. a few miles from Pistolwhip in Amofo Count Ondatship…
Alex: Ok gentlemen let’s play Blackery… For our categories we have “Words That End In Y”… “Ima Count To Three”…. “You Ain’t,” “I Swear I Would, and No You Didn’t. ” Adolla you won the coin toss, so you go first…
Adollar: Okay Alex.. I’ll take You Ain’t for $10.00
Alex: “Expletive!!”
Adollar: Who is Donald Trump..
Alex: Anybody…? Oh no.. we were looking for Sean Hannity… but you are still in the game… pick again…
Adollar: Ok Alex.. I will take Words That End In Y for $40.00..
Alex: “Ben Carson…” Notta?
Notta: What is coonery…
Alex: No… Iya?
Iya: What is…. What is f**kcery…
Alex: That’s it!!.. you choose..
Iya: I will take I Swear I Would for $30.00 Alex..
Alex: Okay here’s the clue… Called you the “N word in front of yo mamma..”
Iya: Who is Mike Pence..
Alex: That’s it… you’re on the board with $30.00… your pick…
Iya: Give me “Ima Count To Three” for $10.00
Alex: “Grab you by your private parts…”
Iya: Who is Donald Trump
Alex: Oh… Nooooo… anybody else… the answer is Sarah Huckabee… tough break.. go again..
Iya: I’ll take You Ain’t for $30 Alex..
Alex: “f$##@!! around…” Adolla..
Adollar: Who is Grand Master Jay..
Alex: That’s the name.. leader of the NFAC… kicked a little ass in Georgia… now they a blue state… it’s your board…
Adollar: Give me “I Swear I Would” for $50.00 Alex..
Alex: [Double Blackery!!! ] You got Double Blackery Adolla… You can wage up to fifty dollars on “I Swear I Would…”
Adollar: $50.00 Alex…
Alex: Okay for $50.00 Adollar… “Smacked yo significant other on the behind when they walked by…”
Adollar: Who is… Ted Cruz…
Alex: (Audience clapping).. That’s it… Okay Adolla.. you’ll start us off after this short break…
*************************** Short Break*******************************
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*****************************Blackery*********************************
Alex: It says here Notta, you are quite the baker… I’ve done some baking myself.. what’s your speciality..
Notta: I specialize in Nectar Toes..
Adollar: What did that %$$# say!!
Alex: Uh okay… Adollar, I hear you used to be a songwriter… what was your favorite song?
Adollar: Footprints In the Dark…
Alex: I’m sure somebody needed to hear that… Iya, you’re our returning champion.. what advice do you have for aspiring Blackerty players?
Iya: Yeah.. I rather be on Wheel of Fortune… at least I won’t owe them any money when I leave…
Alex: Okay Iya.. thank you for that.. Gentlemen let’s play… Adollar it’s your board..
Adollar: I’ll take No You Didn’t for $40..
Alex: Black Lives Matter
Adollar: What is… call the police…
Alex: No..Iya…?
Iya: What is.. Of course I live here…
Alex: No…. Notta?
Notta: What is .. Honey wash my sheet and hood, I’m going out tonight…
Alex: That’s it.. you’re leading…
Notta: I will take Words That End In Y for $50 Alex..
Alex: Black People..
Notta: What is.. lazy..
Alex: No… Adollar?
Adollar: What is brotherly?
Alex: No.. you want to try this Iya..?
Iya: What is… I bet you don’t get back to Itssundown tonight…
Alex: That’s it.. go again…
Notta: Hey that don’t end in”Y!!”
Alex: Oh.. I’m too lazy to check … Iya?
Iya: Okay Alex… I’ll take “Ima Count to Three,” for $10…
Alex: It was at the barbeque…
Notta: What is the number of nigras asking for more chicken sandwiches…
Alex: No.. Adollar?
Adollar: What is… how long he has to take off that Trump hat before I throw hands..
Alex: No… Iya?… no.. you don’t want to try… Okay what we are looking for is what is “When is that @##$ coming out the bathroom..”
Alex: It’s a real tight game… anyone can win.. Iya you still have the board..
Iya: I’ll take “No You Didn’t,” for $50
Alex: “If you lose these .. things will never be the same…” Notta?
Notta: What is the nigg@ they found with the Trump hat on…
Alex: No.. Adollar…
Adollar: What is the nigg@ they found in the alley with the Trump hat on…
Alex: No… Iya?
Iya: What is Ewww!! Are those what I think they are?
Alex: That’s it.. your board…
Iya: Alex I think I will take “I Swear I Would” for $20
Alex: “Twenty five years ain’t really that long…” Adollar…
Adollar: What is I told them to stop @##!! with me..
Alex: No… Iya…
Iya: What is…. he shouldn’t have gotten out the car..
Alex: No… Notta?
Notta: What is… Ima ask for another five years because he sass mouth…
Alex: That’s what we are looking for… your pick…
Notta: Give me “You Ain’t,” for $50. Alex..
Alex: Here’s the clue… “He walked in there with cornrows and attitude… Iya…”
Iya: What is.. you ain’t at the Players Lounge in SE nigg@…
Alex: No… Adollar..
Adollar: What is .. you aint gonna see him again unless it on a missing person’s report…
Alex: That’s it.. you choose…. (Ding.. ding..) Oh I’m sorry that’s the end of regular play.. It’s time for Final Jeopardy… Today’s topic is Django Unchained… Gentlemen get your wagers ready.. we will see how much you know about the old west… Right after these messages….
******************************Messages********************************
This is a channel 6 newsbreak.. and I’m Melvin Mumbles… In today news riots broke out in downtown Soulsville when Trump supports blocked the entrance to Popeyes on two for one dollar day… several arrest were made and police vowed to catch the culprit responsible for taking all the grape jelly and replacing it with chewing tobacco… In other news… the President made history when his entire cabinet became infected with foot and mouth disease. Secretary of Health… Rudy Giuliani down played the incident..” Obama had a check up every year he was in office… why don’t you talk about that..” Finally, Police need your help in finding Lil Moe Bigger. Bigger describe as weighing 72 lbs about 4 feet 5 inches with a dark complexion, was last seen at a Trump rally in Itssundown, Mississippi shouting, “I’m not taking this $$!!## no more from y’all!!,” An eyewitness, Mr. Notta Blakinsite was in attendance..” You talking about the nigra with the cornrows and the BLM shirt…. naw.. I ain’t seen him…” Authorities would like anyone who has seen or heard anything to call missing persons and ask for Det. Kushner or Det. Ivanka… This has been a channel 6 newsbreak…
****************************Blackerty**********************************
Alex: Okay gentlemen let’s get ready for Final Jeopardy… please make your wagers… Lets see the clue.. “He was at the dining table.. when you saw her…” you have 30 seconds… (Blackery theme song plays..)
Alex: Okay.. gentlemen time is up…. We will start with Notta.. Notta you have $20.. lets see your answer..
Notta: What is… put something in his water…
Alex: Oh noooo.. I’m afraid that’s not it… what did you wager… $20…. that will take you down to zero… Okay… Adollar you have $130.00.. lets see if you got the answer…
Adollar: What is… throw hot grits on him because he was sitting at the dining room table at his side chicks house…
Alex: No I’m afraid that’s not right.. what did you wager..? $50.00… that will take you down to $80.00… and now for our returning champion Iya… Iya what is your answer?
Iya: What is.. throw hot grits on everybody…. including the dog and the fish in the aquarium…
Alex: That’s right!! That scene was cut out because she threw hot grits on the producer too… you had $140.00… what was your wager? $140.00!! you doubled your winnings for a grand two day total of $385.00 minus taxes of $192.00 and lodging!! You only owe us $6.17… Congratulations!!! Thank you for watching!! We will see you tomorrow for more Blackery!!
Iya: This some B#@@!$^&&^…..!!

In Memory of Alex Trebek – Host Of Jeopardy
1940 – 2020

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