Letters To Miss Mabel

Dear Miss Mabel,
A coworker invited me out to have drinks with him and while he thought I wasn’t looking, he slipped something into my drink. I acted like I didn’t see it but I didn’t drink it. He asked me out again but I don’t know if I should accept. He is so cute and I hate to give up on him for one little mistake. What should I do?


Dear Confused,
Well this is quite a dilemma. My advice is the next time he spikes your drink, act like you are drugged. When he take you back to his place and ya’ll get into bed.. get on top. Take his hands and put them behind his head… ask him to close his eyes… then lean over and grab that thing and RIP THAT SUCKER RIGHT OUT THE SOCKET!! DON’T YOU WRITE ME AGAIN WITH ANYMORE NONSENSE!!

Dear Miss Mabel,
Yesterday I invited my new co-worker to join me and the boys for a drink after work. After a few rounds he started calling everybody “My nigg@” My friend is white and I don’t want to lose his friendship but it was so embarrassing. My other friends started looking at me strangely and a few left without saying a word. I know he is not a racist.. he was just trying to be one of the guys.

My Nigg@

Dear My Nigg@
I can see how this behavior would be very stressful on your relationship. A lot of times people say things that they don’t understand can be hurtful. You asked him out to join in the camaraderie and to bond with fellow co-workers so that he would feel comfortable in his new environment. You have nothing to be ashamed of. The next time he does it pull him aside… and whoop that ass.

Dear Miss Mabel,
I fell in love with a very wonderful person. He is attentive and loving and I just can’t say enough about him. We were married yesterday and two of his former girlfriends were at the wedding. They were not on the guest list and he didn’t tell me they were coming. When our wedding pictures came back, there was a picture of them sitting on his lap with a pair of panties hanging in their mouths. I don’t want to be that “type of wife..” Should I talk to him about it or should I just chalk it up to boys being boys.

Feeling Jealous

Dear Feeling Jealous,
Honey I know how you feel. If I was you I would find them bit**chs and then I would beep.. beep … beep… stay away from my beep… beep… husband… cause if you don’t than I’m gonna stick my foot up your beep … beep.. Bury you both ..beep… beep… piss…. beep… beep and he’s going beep… beep… beside…. beep.. beep.. you… beep.. panties…. beep… beep… his… beep…. beep… mouth….

Dear Miss Mabel,
Last night I made tuna casserole when I got off from work and when I served it, my 12 year old son grabbed his plate and threw it against the wall and told me to “f*ck off. I’m not eating this shat!!” Sometimes he just takes his frustrations out on me and I just don’t know what to do.


Dear Unappreciated,
Children can be so heartless. You work hard all day and come home to see that your child has a good meal and he acts out on you… how ungrateful. Sometimes you have to go with tough love. Next time tie your child up and take him to the woods… preferably at night. Give him a butter knife and a map. Tell him from now on he has to kill what he eats. Tell him if he changes his mind and attitude then he can use the map to find his way back home where an ass whipping and a plate of tuna casserole will be waiting.

Dear Miss Mabel,
My neighbor is so obnoxious. We move into our new home a few months ago and everyone here is assigned their own separate parking space. Every evening when I get home he is in my parking space. I have talked to him and I have complained to the homeowners association. He just pays them no mind. They told me to call the police. The police said since it is on private property there is nothing they can do. I am at my wits end.


Dear Tired,
Don’t you just hate that? When he parks there next time put a large trash can full of trash about five feet in front of his car and set it on fire. When he comes out… act like you’re trying to put it out with a glass of water. Good luck.

Dear Miss Mabel,
I am a pastry chef by training, but since the pandemic I haven’t been able to find a job in my field. I had to take a job at a electronics store. I keep in practice by making and bringing pastries for the employees at my job. Yesterday I brought in some creme filled cupcakes with strawberry icing for a friends birthday. When I went to go get them out the fridge they were gone. I was so disappointed. This is the third time in a row someone has taken the pastries I have made for everyone. This time I was really upset because I put my heart and soul into those cupcakes on account of the friendship I have with the person they were for. Should I just stop bringing pastries for everyone just because of one person?


Dear Disappointed,
Are you sure it’s not the office? I don’t know know how good your talent is but I am going to take your word for it. You said this was the third time your pastries went missing and you are really upset this time because you put your heart and soul into this batch. Try putting some Dulcolax in them next time.

**** Mary Ellen Pleasant is the name of the women in the feature image. She was one of the first black millionaires and made her fortune in investing in the 1800’s. She would almost be a billionaire in today’s money. You can find out more about her here. ****

Thanks for reading Hill1News.


Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.