Under The Sun…

That which has been is what will be, That which is done is what will be done, And there is nothing new under the sun. – Ecclesiastes 1:9

As I watched the 14th ballot fail to elect Kevin McCarthy to the position of House Speaker and the ensuing turmoil.. ie Gaetz getting ready to get it handed to him on a $2 dollar Walmart aluminum pan because Walmart is their choice when it comes to supplies, I thought about the verse in Ecclesiastes which pretty much summed it up for me.. “There is nothing new under the sun.” Gaetz was just a member in a long line of Congressman who have been threatened with an azz whopping. Most of the threats and instances of physical violence happened between the years of 1830 and 1860, when eighty cases occurred, all having to do with slavery. We will get to that in a moment. The Gaetz saga started when he and his band of far right-wing troglodytes decided they were going to take over the Republican Party or at least compromise it to such an extent that it would be the same as taking it over. McCarthy gave into their demands in exchange for their support. He called a “special” session late at night… ” I’m gonna be the @!!# Speaker of the @##! House!! Y’all come on back and vote!!” It was all set and done. The last man to vote would be Gaetz and with his vote he would be handed the position he had been kissing their very one for all week… then Gaetz got him faqued up… not only did he not vote for McCarthy, but he also wanted to postpone the vote until the following Monday! All hell broke loose!! McCarthy jump up and stomped his way up the stairs to where Gaetz was sitting and his boy had to jump in between him and Gaetz before McCarthy got to him and was able to smacked the backstabbing Florida sunshine outta him. Meanwhile another congressman who was just a couple of feet from Gaetz… had to be aggressively restrained by his friend… and who eventually had to put his hand over the Congressman’s mouth… Congressman: NAW MOE!! IMA WHIP YO LYING TWO FACED PUNK AZZ!!” I’m like “daaang….” Anywho order was restored and McCarthy was installed as the Speaker of the 118th Congress on the 15th ballot. It was the fifth longest balloting for the position of Speaker of the House. The longest vote on the Speaker position was in 1855, when it took 133 ballots or a little over two months.

Love That Chicken…

So the as I said earlier, most of the fights in the House were over slavery. The most physical confrontations came about as a result of the passing of the Gag Rules by the House of Representatives between 1836 and 1844. So as we know even today Congress receives petitions from their constituents for a wide variety of things. It might be petitions to leave an infamous traitorous rebel statute up in the Capitol Rotunda and declaring his birthday a national holiday on which at the stroke of midnight everybody has to come out their house and yell “Yahoo!!”… to as little as asking Congress to outlaw putting a Popeye’s and Starbucks on the same block. The mid 1800’s were the same except that during this period of history the issue of slavery was front and center. The issue of slavery and the amount of petitions pertaining to it were so great that they instituted the Gag Rules. Basically the Gag rule forbade the discussion, consideration or raising of any topic relating to slavery in the House Of Representatives. That was a hard sell especially when you had southern congressmen bringing in their slaves to service them right in front of the abolitionist eyes.
Northerner: “WTF are you doing!!??”
Southerner: “I’m having my toenails clipped while my boots are being shined…”
Northerner: “You can’t do that in here!!”
Southerner: “Do what?”
Northerner: “You know what!!”
Southerner: “Have my toenails clipped and boots shined?”
Northerner: (pointing to slave)… “Him!!!”
Southerner: “Him what?”
Northerner: “I’ll tell you “what”… I’m finna drop it like its hot and come over there and kick the Mississippi crawdad fingernail dirt clean outta you!!!”
Yep you couldn’t even mention the word slave or slavery then. The laws were a constant source of agitation. By 1844 the laws were repealed and the on the first day over 5000 petitions came in asking congress to revoke slavery in the District of Columbia. Slavery would not be banished from DC until April of 1862.

Up In Heh!!

One of the most brutal attacks came on May 22, 1856, when Charles Sumner was beaten half to death by Preston Brooks, a pro slavery Democrat from South Carolina. Two days earlier Sumner had given a speech denouncing the Kansas-Nebraska Act. The Kansas-Nebraska Act was the fire that lit the keg of the Civil War. In 1803 after the Louisiana Purchase, the territories of Kansas and Nebraska went about organizing territorial governments respectively by a dude named Steven Douglas. You may have heard of Douglas because he was the candidate who ran against Lincoln when they vied for a senate seat. The Lincoln Douglas debates were among the most racist in political history… let me take that back…. were the most racist in American political history. They were throwing around the “N-word” like it was a basketball at an NBA tryout.. both of them! In fact Lincoln said during the debates…
“I will say then that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the white and black races, that I am not nor ever have been in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the white and black races which I believe will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together there must be the position of superior and inferior, and I as much as any other man am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race.” – Abraham Lincoln
I went clean down to the white meat researching that shat.. you can read more about it here. Anywho, that’s the type of man Douglas was. Lincoln lost that race, but gained national attention because of the debates. He later bested Douglas for the presidency in 1860. Surprisingly Douglas was against secession and feverishly talked against it during his campaign. It was one of the reason for his defeat. Douglas died in June of 1861 at the age of 48 and just two months after the start of the Civil War. Anywho.. I got off track there for a moment…. so yeah Steven Douglas was trying to organize the Kansas and Nebraska territories. The fight started when they wanted Kansas to come in as a slave state to which there was significant opposition. The opposition revolved around the fact that the Missouri Compromise banned it. Don’t worry.. Ima stay in my lane this time… I’m just going to say that the Missouri Compromise forbade slavery on a horizontal line roughly across the middle of United States, with slavery permitted on one side and not on the other. Douglas with the help of his friends in Congress repealed the compromise and instead the US adopted a stance called “popular sovereignty.” That meant that the folks in a particular area could say if they wanted slaves instead of the government. So that’s when it hit the fan. You know how when they say if we move into the area, the property value goes down? The stuff the the Nebraskans was throwing down was the exact opposite! They said if Kansas didn’t come in as a slave state, than Nebraska would “lose” its property value! I ain’t gonna even faque with that.. because dey gonna make me lose my mind.. up in heh.. up in heh.. Anywho based on that assumption, one of the most bloodiest periods in pre Civil War American history came about in the name of the Kansas-Nebraska Border War also known as The Bleeding Kansas. Again I’m not going to go into this at this time, but will circle back in a later article. Right now I just want to give you an idea of the significant role the border war played and its influence on the members of Congress. Basically the Nebraskan were trying to strong arm Kansas into voting for slavery and would send people across the border to intimidate folks. Remember John Brown? Well he was on the side of Kansas. He was the man they hanged in Charles Town for breaking into the Harpers Ferry Armory so that he could arm a slave rebellion. Before he broke into the armory, he was in Kansas at a place called Pottawatomie Creek, where on the night of May 24, 1856, he and his sons took five proslavery men from their homes and hacked them to death with broadswords. That was some real knights of the round table medieval shat right there and everybody was talking about it… anywho… the proslavery people retaliated and by the time it was over more than 56 people had died. The story of John Brown and the border war reached all the way into the halls of Congress where its polarizing effect led to Sumner’s beat down.

Whip It On Me..

So liked we discussed earlier Sumner had made a speech in which he was critical of the Kansas-Nebraska Act. Did I say critical… I mean disrespectful. He not only talked about Douglas, but he also talked about the South Carolina congressman who co-authored Kansas-Nebraska Act with him… a man named Andrew Butler. With Butler he was especially disrespectful, alluding to him as being the half witted Don Quixote, in love with slavery in the form of Dulcinea, a not so pleasant looking prostitute. As a boy I have read about Don Quixote and have seen a few plays about him.. but for the life of me I can’t remember what the story was about. The only thing I do remember is that I didn’t like it and I guess neither did Butler. Now as for Butler, well he gave as good as he got. He went straight for the jugular… alluding to the idea that Sumner was against slavery because he wanted to marry a black woman and get a little coco in his milk. It wasn’t unusual for slaveholders and abolitionists to attacked each other by accusing them of secretly wanting to have sexual relationships with black people. Douglas said of the feud… “These damn fools is going to get themselves killed by some other damn fools”. Maybe not killed, but sure nuff faqued up.. You see Butler was Preston Brooks first cousin! Remember Preston Brooks was the man that that in the future would be responsible for the… as Prince would say.. “Whip It on me,” episode. Anywho, Brooks was pissed off the way Sumner was treating his cousin. He went to his boy.. a man named Laurence Keitt to ask him about the rules of dueling. Down south they settles their quarrels with a pistol. Two men would face each, turn back to back, walk off a few paces, then turn back around and shoot until one fell or ran. You don’t really believe all those scenes you see in the movie where the gallant southerner is killed in a duel standing up for the honor of his beloved whateva… do you? A lot of those fellows ran after the first shot was fired and many of them have been dug up with bullet holes in the back after turning around to pace off.. Anywho Brook asked his boy about the rules but after hearing one of Sumner’s speeches and the coarse language he used, he decided that Sumner was no gentleman and did not merit honorable treatment. He decided to humiliate Sumner by beating him with a cane in a public setting.

May 22, 1856

Before we begin, this description is a graphic telling of the beating Sumner experienced. It may offend some people’s sensibilities. It was afternoon when Brooks entered the Senate chamber with Keitt and another dude. They waited for the gallery to clear because one, they didn’t want anyone to intervene and two, because they didn’t want any women to see when he put the hamma on Sumner. Brooks walked up to Sumner and said softly, “Mr. Sumner, I have read your speech twice over carefully. It is a libel on South Carolina, and Mr. Butler, who is a relative of mine.” Sumner looked up at Brooks and started to stand up when Brooks hit him across the top of his head with the cane.. over and over again. Sumner later said the shock of the blows were such that he temporarily lost his sight. “I no longer saw my assailant, nor any other person or object in the room. What I did afterwards was done almost unconsciously, acting under the instincts of self-defense.” More likely self preservation…. anywho… Sumner was knocked to the floor under his desk.. Brooks was still standing over him swinging the cane.. Wack, wack.. wack.. pinned under the desk, Sumner had no choice but to rise.. ripping the bolted down desk from its mooring. Blinded by the blood in his eyes, he staggered down the aisle, defending himself as best he could while the Southern “gentleman” still in pursuit, beat him mercilessly. Unfortunately after coming from under the desk, Sumner was a larger and easier target for Brooks who now was beating him across the head shoulders and arms. Brooks did not stop even when his cane broke in half, thrashing Sumner with the part that had the gold knob on it. Sumner stumbled and cried out, “Oh Lord..” Near the end of the attack, Sumner collapsed unconscious. Brooks grabbed him by the lapel and continued to beat him with the cane. By this time several others had entered the room and were trying to stop Brooks. They were held back by his boy Keitt, who was brandishing a pistol and also had a cane. “Leave them be!! Leave them be!” he shouted to the onlookers. Finally two onlookers were able to restrain Brooks. As Sumner regained consciousness they were able to assist him to walk to a cloakroom where he received first aid which included several stitches. With the help of some of his friends Sumner was put into a carriage and went home where he received additional medical aid. Brooks also need medical aid… seems he hurt himself above his right eye after one of his back swings.

The Bare Ground

I would like to say that after Sumner recovered and got out of prison for sneaking up behind Brooks with a baseball bat and a book of matches… that he alone… returned home to a hero’s welcome… but in the shadow of slavery both men were lauded as just for standing up to their perspective views, with Sumner being the martyr and Brooks the hero. Thousands gathered in cities all across the northern United States in support of Sumner. Over a million copies of his speech were distributed. Ralph Waldo Emerson, an abolitionist and essayist wrote, “I do not see how a barbarous community and a civilized community can constitute one state. I think we must get rid of slavery, or we must get rid of freedom.” As for Brooks, the South may has well carved out a bust of him on Stone Mountain and made his birthday a national holiday. They rallied behind that racist with the utmost fervor. The Richmond Enquirer said that Sumner should should have been caned every day, concluding that the act was “good in conception, better in execution, and best of all in consequences. These vulgar abolitionist have been suffered to run too long without collars and they must be lashed into submission.” Those rascals took it to the next level when Southerners begin sending Brooks hundreds of new canes in endorsement of his assault. One was even inscribed… “Hit him again.” Well… I’ve never… I’m so glad they burned Richmond all the way to the %$#@@ ground during the Civil War… I don’t know what to do… Now to show you the type of man Brooks really was… Massachusetts Representative Anson Burlingame, an expert with weapons called Brooks out to duel and tried to humiliate him into accepting the challenge. “If you scared.. go tell yo mama to come out here and duel with me…” Well it wasn’t quite like that, but Brooks turned him down. Burlingame wanted him to come to the Niagara side of the border where the American laws against dueling were not enforceable. Brooks said that he didn’t want to risk his safety traveling up North to accept the challenge… yeah right. There were probably dozens of people volunteering to protect him on his way up there wanting to get him in front of “Aim and Fire” Anson Burlingame. Meanwhile he wasn’t afraid to go to the Senate Chamber’s up north and challenge Senator Henry Wilson to a duel when Wilson said, “The beating by Brooks was brutal, murderous, and cowardly.” Wilson turned him down, partly because dueling was illegal and because he thought the practice barbaric. Then Brooks threatened to whip his azz but never went through with it. They don’t say how big Wilson was… but they do say he went to work each and everyday after the threat.

Stand Back…

Sumner was re-elected the following year in 1857, but because of his injuries was not able to take his seat until 1859. Brooks was arrested for the assault, tried in a District of Columbia Court and convicted. He was fined $300, but spent no time in jail. The fine is equivalent to almost $10,000 in today’s money. Brooks said he did not intend on killing Sumner, else he would have used a different weapon. Brooks resigned from office pending a special election by his constituents on whether they approved or disapproved of his behavior in the beating. I’m calling BS… I mean they were sending him canes to do it again. He was returned to office in 1856. Brooks fell out of favor for a while during the lame duck session in 1856 because he advocated for the admittance of Kansas to the Union despite meaning that its admittance would have been as a non slave state. After winning re-election for the next term, he died of croup before the term could begin. Now my mama said that if you don’t have anything nice to say about the departed, than don’t say anything… however my daddy always said I was a hard headed !@@!!… So yeah.. I hope the #@@# is in hell with nitroglycerin drawers on!! By the way, croup is an infection of the upper airway, which becomes narrow making it hard to breathe… like someone has grabbed you by yo neck and is choking that racist shat right out of you… okay Ima leave it alone… Anywho his boy Keitt, the guy that was holding the pistol keeping people from assisting Sumner also resigned, but was also later re-elected. A short time after his re-election he attacked another member of the House for calling him a “negro driver.” Keitt served as a colonel in the confederate army and was shot ten times in the azz at the battle of Cold Harbor where he died. Okay, all I know for sure is that he died at Cold Harbor… and they were shooting there.. so…. I’m using my hopes and dreams… uh… I mean my discretion… anywho…

In The End

The attacks on Sumner along with the attacks in Kansas were a rallying cry for the Republicans. The twin messages of Bleeding Kansas and Bleeding Sumner help to solidify their base against the extremist policies and actions of the proslavery Democrats. Remember the Democrats were the bad guys in those days… That year James Buchanan was voted in as president and the Democrats gained a majority in the House because of the 3/5 Compromise, which counted slaves as 3/5 human giving the south a numerical advantage in how many representatives they could have. By contrast, Republican were making gains electing state legislatures. Back then the state legislatures choose their senators to represent them in Congress instead of how it is today, where a states voting population sends the candidate to Congress. Because of a .. how should I put this… backstabbing, ineffective president.. and the consolidation of power by the Republicans in the Senate, the attack on Sumner and the chaos in Kansas.. the Republican party grew in influence and coalescence as a national prominent party. Their stature would culminate in the 1860 presidential election when a little know politician named Abraham Lincoln would take the reins of the divided country and lead it out of the most devastating years in its history.
The walking cane used to attack Charles Sumner is on exhibit at the Old State House in Boston, Massachusetts.

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