After the Nazi’s and white supremacist showed all their azz a couple of years ago in Charlottesville and ended up killing someone and injuring dozens, they have mostly been on the downlow. But along the coast of the Aryan Way and on the sandy white beaches of White Power, if you turn over a couple of rocks you might get lucky and see a few. As it so happened, I went down there to do some research. Of course it was after midnight. I had gotten some crisp new white sheets from the Dollar Store and spent the extra two dollars for the premium Tiki Torch, which has a place where you can hang your Nazi flag under the flame. Now I didn’t get the flag, but I did cut out a color picture of Jason Kessler from alt-right newspaper, “White Lives Matter More than Yours” and taped it on the sheet covering my behind. It worked remarkably well and they had no idea I was an infiltrator. As I proceeded in my investigation, every now and then, I would hear someone murmur, “White Power Brother!” Then came the glitch. Once when I heard someone say “white power” I balled my fist up and gave them the black power sign. The rocks on the beach started moving toward me. I quickly realized my mistake and thrust my hand forward and outstretched my fingers and with a smart click of my heels, I confidently said, “Heil to the Hitler!!” Although it was dark, I could see out of the little slits I had cut in my sheet, that people were still starting to coming out from under the rocks. I was in a bad spot. With nothing left to lose, I bent over and showed them my picture of Kessler and said “Heil Trump and Great Is The Work Of Comrade Mitch Mcconnell!!” It worked!! As they crawled back under those limestone rocks, in a hushed whisper they all said “Jews will not replace us…” I said “Alt-right now..!! and with a sigh of relief, I continued my work.
The first rock I examined really caught my eye. From a distance it glistened like new a new doorknob on a Hillbilly trailer. I later found out it was Brylcreem. Anyway, I flip it over and begun my investigation. Under the rock was the white nationalist Peter Cvjetanovic, the so called face of Charlottesville. In 2017 during the Alt-Right Rally in Charlottesville , Peter was photographed in his natural native habitat, teeth bared with flaming spear and participating in full tribal ceremony… and they say we savages. Anywho, fast forward two years. Peter is now enrolled in the London School of Economics (LSE). He used to be a student at the University of Nevada. According to his social media accounts, he secured a place in the prestiges school by way of his superior brain. I am not going to mess with that, I will just refer you to the picture above. Now although LSE say’s they know about his affiliation with the master race, it is not their policy to put the mouth on anybody. They did put out the following statement; “Nevertheless, we take any complaints that are received very seriously and have robust procedures in place to ensure that all issues of concern raised are dealt with promptly and fairly,” it added. “LSE is committed to equity, diversity and inclusion for all members of the school community. Students and staff are free to hold and express their own views, however, we expect everyone within the LSE community to treat each other with respect at all times. Graduate selections are made on the basis of the strength of an individual’s application, with an experienced selector assessing each application, including personal statement and references, alongside agreed criteria set by the department.” – Professor Emeritus Vihaan Arjun Muhammad. Okay.. let me stop that.. it wasn’t signed by Vihaan. I am just making the point, he ain’t in Kansas anymore. At the time the University of Nevada did not throw the bum out, saying something about free speech and being sued out the kazoo. A few days after Charlottesville, there were alleged reports saying that Peter had identified himself as being a white nationalist. However it was reported later that he disavowed the label and said calling himself that was the biggest mistake he had made. “Hell To The Hitler!!”
A little bit farther down the beach I decided to to take a break. The smell of Brylcreem and Billy Beer started to make me lightheaded. I was getting hungry and spied a little eatery about a hundred yards away. I knew I was taking a chance but I had to eat. So I put on my gloves and off I went. The sign on the door said “We ain’t playing, even yo car better be white.” – Klansmen Bob. I decided to take my chance. I went thru the door and stood in the middle of the floor and yelled, “Heil Trump and Great Is The Work Of Comrade Mitch Mcconnell!!” Klansmen Bob stood up and looked at me with hard steely eyes. He went behind the counter and took out a Smith and Wesson 45 caliber pistol and put it on the counter. Then he open a drawer next to the cash register and pull out a box of ammunition and put six bullets on the counter and began to load the weapon. As he chambered the bullets, he attached a word to each one. Bullet 1 “Who” Bullet 2 “Do” Bullet 3 “You” Bullet 4 “Think” Bullet 5 “You” Bullet 6 “Fooling?” Afterwards he spun the chamber and slammed the gun on the counter. I had seconds to live. Without thinking I jumped up and down on the floor repeatedly. Everytime my feet hit the floor I would cuss. This went on for about five minutes. Finally I ran to the counter and banged my fist furiously on the counter and waved them in his face. Then I looked him dead in his eyes and with a low voice I said, “Jews will not replace us!” He looked at me and suddenly smiled and said “Why didn’t you say that at first. What can I get you young fella?” I asked him where the bathroom was. He said over there in the corner. After a while I came out. He said he thought he heard someone crying. I told him I was giving god the glory. After I finished eating, I went on the patio to have a smoke. As I set back in the chair, in the distance, I saw something that looked very strange. It was a rock with a box on it. I put out my cigarette and turned to Klansmen Bob and said “Trump, Mein Fuhrer.” He said,” May the white man’s god be with you.” I got up and left.
After a hard walk over some rough terrain, I finally got to the strange rock. From Klansmen Bobs it looked like it was just a short distance but in reality I had to cross the Bridge Of Treason.”There at the toll booth was the gatekeeper Paul Ryan expecting his pay. So I paid him no mind and kept going. As I looked at the rock, I noticed it was not a box, but a class reunion book. Excitedly I flipped the rock over and there was Roy Moore. When Jeff Session vacated his seat to become the Attorney General, a special election was held to replace him. Roy Moore ran against multi-faced Doug Jones. Doug was the Democratic contender who only won because of the support of thousands of black supporters. Now while in this article we are only talking about the the racist folks under the rocks, we will get to the back stabbing, lying and conniving two faced folks in another article. Anywho, Moore was a farrrr righttt candidate. In 2017 when a spectator asked when Moore thought America was last great, Moore said, “I think it was great at the time when families were united. Even though we had slavery, they cared for one another. … Our families were strong, our country had a direction.” Now what did he go and say that for? Don’t he know that over 25% of the people that live in Alabama are Black? Well, Roy was sure he was going to be the next senator from Alabama. He even ordered matching black lawn jockeys for the front and back of his house. In addition it was rumored that he told his maid she had to legally change her name to Mammy and his butler had to change his name to Sambo. Yessiree , there was going to be a big hootenanny at the Aunt Jemima Plantation on election day. He even got President Trump to come down and endorse him.Well one second you on top of the world then “BAM!!” Somebody says you like little girls. Three women stated that he had sexually assaulted them when they were at the respective ages of 14, 16 and 28. Moore acknowledged that he may have approached and dated teenagers while he was in his 30s, but denied that any of the girls were underage or that he had sexually assaulted anyone. The legal age of consent in Alabama is 16 years. Now people like to give folks the benefit of the doubt. It was already well known that you liked your steaks a little rare. But when it came out that that you was eating them while they was still running around on the range, well folks was not going to have that. Hell you’re 24 years older than your wife. How you expect you going to win an election when you saying African Americans would be better off if they was slaves and your neighbor has to hide his 14 year old daughter from you cause you might jump the fence. You was the first Republican to lose a United States Senate election in Alabama in over 27 years. You are facing multiple lawsuits from the people you allegedly abused and I finna turn this rock back over and put this book back. Bye Roy.
Well it’s time to be heading back. It will be light in a couple of hours. Although I found a couple hiding under the rocks, I really came out here to find the elusive Shootindabak Rock. They say that somewhere near the “Stand Your Ground” sewage outlet pipe, there is a sh!t hole and only there will you find it. Whew.. let me sit down. OMG!! What’s that smell? I’m nowhere near the sewage outlet. Oh man, I have to get out my map.. okay let me see. The SYG is about a quarter mile from here.. I’m here and the closest thing is…. is the.. it’s the “You Got Us F**K Up Well.” I guess they meant well instead of sh!t hole. Good thing I have my rope. Okay I’m here. Let me tie this down and…. here we go. It’s kinda dark down here. I am going to have to put another wick on my torch… okay let’s light it. What the heck is that? It’s a note. “Zimmerman you POS.. I know you are down there. Luckily for you my torch went out, but I will be back!!” Hmm. another intrepid explorer. Okay just a few more feet.. ah ha.. no water that’s good… There it is!! Oh man I’m going to have to dig it up. He is under a huge rock!! (20 minutes later..) Come on out here you snake. I read another reporter came an interviewed you. It’s been seven year’s since you got away with murder. According to Officer Mallory, you living the life. While on one hand he says you did everything right, on the other hand he says if you had been in his state you would have been in jail. After you won that case , black people across the country were being shot for no reason except somebody feared them because of the color of their skin. Right now Markeis McGlockton is dead. Killed over a parking space. Michael Drejkad killed him in front of his girlfriend and her baby after he threatened them. When Michael came out to defend them, he shot him and now he is claiming self defense and is using Florida’s Stand Your Ground law. I hope he gets the samething that the murderer of Jordan Davis got. Michael Dunn shot Davis because he said he felt threatened after the teen was playing his music too loud. Whe he asked Jordan to turn it down and Jordan said no, he shot him and claimed self defense. Dunn was given a sentence of life in prison without parole plus 90 years. Since you have been under this rock your actions have cost lives. Why I ought to.. What’s that noise? It sounds like banging. Hey.. hey up there. what are you doing? ” I told you I would be back you POS. I’m bricking the top of this well shut!!” Wait!! wait!! I’m not Zimmerman!! “Stop your lying Zimmerman, you will be under that rock forever!!” I quickly take off my sheets and ask him to shine his light down into the well. He does and then throws the rope back down so I can get out. The sun was coming up and we put the last brick over the well. Now we had to hurry back to our cars. As we were running I said, “It was pretty dark in that well , how did you know I wasn’t Zimmerman?” He said he could see my Nikes.
Reprint: Hill1News © August 2019