Our Children and Bullying

1. Over 3.2 million students are victims of bullying each year.
2. Approximately 160,000 teens skip school every day because of bullying.
3. 17% of American students report being bullied 2 to 3 times a month or more within a school semester.
4. 1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying and will only intervene 4% of the time.
5. By age 14 less than 30% of boys and 40% of girls will talk to their peers about bullying.
6. Over 67% of students believe that schools respond poorly to bullying, with a high percentage of students believing that adult help is infrequent and ineffective.
7. 71% of students report incidents of bullying as a problem at their school.
8. 90% of 4th through 8th graders report being victims of bullying.
9. 1 in 10 students drop out of school because of repeated bullying.
10. As boys age they are less and less likely to feel sympathy for victims of bullying. In fact they are more likely to add to the problem than solve it.
11. Physical bullying increases in elementary school, peaks in middle school and declines in high school. Verbal abuse, on the other hand, remains constant.

The problem is very real and very serious. Tens of thousands of young people all over the country are affected by this anti social behavior and millions all over the world. As adults and parents we need to lead the way in preventing the emotional and sometimes physical toll endured by our children for something as simple as going to school. So what can we do about it? Surprisingly a lot. But before we talk about what we can do, lets first identify a child that may be subject to bullying and what to look for.

• Unexplainable injuries
• Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry
• Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness
• Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch.
• Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares
• Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school
• Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations
• Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem

Now lets talked about the child that is doing the bullying and what to look for.

• Get into physical or verbal fights
• Have friends who bully others
• Are increasingly aggressive
• Get sent to the principal’s office or to detention frequently
• Have unexplained extra money or new belongings
• Blame others for their problems
• Don’t accept responsibility for their actions
• Are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity,

Here are a few more things.

• Bullying can make a child feel helpless. Kids may want to handle it on their own to feel in control again. They may fear being seen as weak or a tattletale.
• Kids may fear backlash from the kid who bullied them.
• Bullying can be a humiliating experience. Kids may not want adults to know what is being said about them, whether true or false. They may also fear that adults will judge them or punish them for being weak.
• Kids who are bullied may already feel socially isolated. They may feel like no one cares or could understand.
• Kids may fear being rejected by their peers. Friends can help protect kids from bullying, and kids can fear losing this support.

That’s a lot of stuff for a grownup to deal with, less more a child. As you read thru these statistics you keep running across words like isolated, helplessness, humiliating, and fear, all negatively impacting the bullied child. What kind of adult will that child grow up to be? So what can we do? Start by creating a paper trail. Document everything. Make sure that the school is establishing and enforcing rules and policies that clearly describe how students are expected to treat each other. Identify local and state laws put into place to combat bullying. Here is a starting point. If your local school or school administrator is not an effective anti-bullying advocate or does not address your child’s well being to your satisfaction, then by all means, go over their heads. You can start here on how to proceed. Finally if all else fails, seek legal advice.