Remember when I said I was going to add a new category for stupidity in the Drop Awards criteria? Well, I had to amend that criteria in light of seeing this “ish.” Now picture this. You at a party with who you thought were your friends. One of them picks up a microphone and gets to dancing. Your other so called friends asks him what he is selling? He responds with, “What am I selling? I’m selling nig**s!!” What!! Now, he just didn’t get the right one. Instead of a thirty second racist school video, this could of been one of those pleading for my life, ten minute TV docu-dramas without commercials. Check it out if you want to see the real meaning of “ I’m sorry!!”
Anywho, before we continue evaluating this month’s Drop Awards, I want to relate something along the same lines that I was involved in a few years ago. First I have to give you the backdrop. After I had lived here for about a year, the lot next door to me was purchased. A home was built there and of course I was kind of leary because I did not know what type of neighbor to expect. I mean, I am a city boy and I had moved less than five mile from Sharpsburg, Maryland, site of the Antietam civil war battle. Now although Maryland was a slave state, it did not secede when the rest of the “Rebel Traitor’s” did. Yep, I said it. Now I want to give this PSA for some of my readers.. “I CLEAN MY AK-47 BULLETS WITH WATERMELON JUICE AND FRIED CHICKEN GREASE!!” Let’s move on… not that it did not want to secede, but you can bet being a border state and next to the nation’s capital, Washington DC, the union would have made sure there would have been a lot of “ I’m sorry!” if they would have even thought about it. Anywho, I knew what type of suit I was a thread in when I moved out here.
My neighbor had been in their home for about a week before he contacted me. I was sitting in my garage drinking a beer, when a bearded man walked across the narrow divided between our houses. When I first saw him, I started reaching for my @!@@. I’m gonna let you figure what my “@!@@” is, but I am going to give you a hint, it don’t have nuttin to do with me and my homie frying pork chops. Anywho, he walked up and had a couple of Budweiser’s. He said my name is Sub, and I’m your new neighbor. Sub is not his real name, but like Dragnet I have changed the name to protect the “straight up bigots”, if you feel me. Anyway, I was surprised, because he looked like one of those bikers you see on the Walking Dead and I’m expecting him to ask me where’s the massa of the house any second now. He sat down, we talked and drinked the beers he had brought. By the time he left, I was comfortable in the fact that I had found a new good friend.
Let’s fast forward a year when I am feeling like Arnold on Different Strokes, “What you talkin’ ’bout Willis?” First there was the lawnmower incident. I had brought a riding mower and since he did not have one, when I did my yard I did his also. I mean I could do both yards in about an hour.. no skin off my back. So one day, I had finished his yard and was doing my own. I did the front yard, trimmed it up and started on the back yard. About half way through my backyard, my mower suddenly stopped. I’m like @!$$$, what’s wrong? I checked and checked but could not figure out what made it stop at the time. I’m like damn… So I go over to his house and he is sitting there in his garage with his friend. I say, “Hey Sub, my lawn mower broke down in my backyard, can you help me push it to my garage? Now mind you, Sub was about 260 pounds and could have probably push it himself, but I’m like its my mower, so I’m not going to let him push it without my help. Anyway, he said ok, I be there a little later. I’m kinda frustrated but I can’t do it without him. So I said ok, all the while thinking, you okay now that your yard is done. To make a long story short, three days passed and my lawn mower was still sitting in my backyard. I was furious! I had made up my mind that once I got it fixed, he was on his own. After some internet investigation, I went and got a spark plug and my lawnmower started. I never did his lawn again. He was hating all the time, because I had that lawnmower. If you ever get a chance to see Mississippi Burning or you remember the story the FBI agent told about his father and the negro tenant farmer that had a mule and the FBI’s father, who didn’t have a mule, well than you know what I mean… “One day that mule just up and died. I looked into my father’s eyes and I knew he did it, and he knew I knew he did it. He looked at me and said ” Son if you aint better than a ni**er, than who are you better than. We never talked about it again.. it just never came up.”– Mississippi Burning
The next time Sub and I got into it, was when Sub, another neighbor and I was sitting on his front porch. It was evening time and we were just kickin it. A new neighbor had just moved in across the street from Sub and had come over to introduce himself. We all shook hands and introduced ourselves. We offered him a beer and he told us his story. He and his family had just arrived from South Africa. He had gained employment as a university professor at the nearby college. Do you know what Sub did immediately after hearing that the new neighbor had come from South Africa? He told one of the most distasteful Black man, White man, Asian man jokes you ever heard and of course the Black man was the butt of the joke. I looked at him like Django did at Calvin Candie. The other two neighbors laughed nervously and then quickly changed the subject. Fives minutes after that, the new neighbor left and never returned. The final straw came when I went into his home and saw a racist picture of a black man hanging in his bathroom…. not from a tree though. I can’t remember what it was, but it made me so upset I confronted him about it. He said he didn’t mean anything and would take it down. I come over the next day and it’s hanging in his garage over the table were all have beers at. It was the last time I considered him a friend and we only spoke and interacted as neighbors from that time on. A few years later he was killed in an accident. I went to his funeral and said goodbye.
Sub was bigot. When I think back on it, I remember the racist and bigoted things he did. But I also remember him shoveling my driveway when I couldn’t walk, not sidewalk, but driveway… one time on back to back days. I remember him inviting me to his home to have dinner with his family and of course he was part of our neighborhood crew. The five or six of us would on alternate weekends go over each others house to cookout, watch the game or drink beers and shoot the $##@! I was the only black black crew member. So yeah I get it. People find a common bond that defines friendship absent the color of your skin. Now there is a difference between my story and our Drop candidates story. Sub ain’t never joked about selling me or ever used the “N’ word in my presence. Although it’s not a leap of faith to think he used the “N” word out of my presence. Anywho, we dealing with 100% facts here.
You standing by and letting them sell you at auction is a violation. A 90 day suspension of your ITTB card ( Invite To The Barbecue) is now in effect. You have been convicted of violating the Emancipation Proclamation, The 13th Amendment, and the Anti-Coon Legislation Of 2019: paragraph 1, sec 1. “In whereas you ain’t on a Worldstarhiphop video’s in 10 minutes after they disrespect you like that, and to wit you ain’t throwing hands, then on Popeyes Chicken Sandwiches and McDonalds Chicken Nuggets, you will be in violation of this law.
- Racial Slurs: 9 pts
- Location: 1 pt
- Gang racism: 8 pts
- Video: 5 pts
- Racist Stupidity: 20
- Eww: 20 pts
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